Borderline Diagnosis in General - Do we vary?

Hi,

Ever since I was diagnosed as borderline I have read a lot of info on it, some I relate to, some not at all. After ruling out (through years of misdiagnosis's) everything (bipolar, etc.) here I sit a borderline.

I watched and read about some of the more "famous" borderlines who have written books, etc. A lot of them list having trouble with friends as a big problem. I've never had this. I was popular in high school, had many friends in college, was in a sorority and have always had people around. Yet I've always felt alone. I could possibly attribute this to outside factors, I was raised wealthy, am attractive, etc, things people find appealing, but it seems like my friends have been with me so long (I'm 29) they must genuinely love me. I admit, I have hidden a lot of my symptoms from them because I knew that stuff just wasn't acceptable.

Do we all have this symptom? My relationships (boyfriends) however, are the roller coaster from hades for me. I also have some of the other symptoms on an off throughout my life. Do we vary? Is there different types?

I believe so. I use to have a lot of rage but not so much anymore I have friends but only a couple close one's. I have rollercoaster relationships with every guy I'm serious with and also with my best friend. I think sometimes it's worse with her cause she's the one person i trust and care for the most. I don't have blow up's (do get mad and go off at times but not so much physically as it is verbally) or suicidal tendencies (I did when i was younger) but i still feel alone and worry everyone's gonna get fed up and leave eventually. I never think about things in between it's also yes or no all or nothing. There is no maybe in my book. I think we all have different symptoms signs and feelings but the same underlying problem or issues in a way. Just my opinion

depending on where you get your info from, there are a few different sets of "types" that people have come up with over the years. I won't get into them, but wikipedia does.

regardless of those labels, all borderlines are different because everyone is a unique, individual human being. I, too, experience most of my really upsetting and disruptive symptoms in the context of romantic relationships. I think this is true for many people.

I don't always relate to every dsm symptom, either. I definitely used to do the frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, but over the years I've gotten a lot better at letting people go when they need to. although that could be due to believing more strongly that I deserve to be abandoned with every abandonment..... heh. my identity disturbance is not as severe as it seems to be for many; the only real impulsivity I see in my life is careless sex... I'm not one to put myself in physical danger, and there are a million things I would never ever do, between the potential danger and the fact I have a huge fear of heights, etc; I used to self injure but haven't for years; I'm not sure I get the emptiness the way others do, except on rare short lived occasions following fairly serious emotional upset; and I've never exhibited a single psychotic/deluded/paranoid/etc symptom. so I guess for me it's all the affective, relationshippy type stuff. lucky for me, those criteria that I do meet are extremely distressful and disruptive to my life.

Yes, absolutely. We may share the same label, but we are all different. I think this is something really important to realise for pwBPD.

We all come from different family backgrounds, different genetic or environmentlal factors, types of trauma, baseline personality types.

I cannot relate to all pwBPD based on the fact we have the same label, which is why I get annoyed at the 'why does this pwBPD act like this and what are they thinking?' because the person is assuming because we have the same disorder I can relate to their behaviour. We are more than our labels. And sometimes we do act with perfectly valid reasons to do so, not because we have BPD!

There are so many combinations with BPD, and many cross over with other disorders. I am more on the self-harm/ dissociative and psychotic side of things. Others may be more depressive. More rage. More prone to stalking. Some act in, others act out.

But, the same kind of treatment seems to help us all, so there are similarities between us and how we can change our behaviour and cope with life.