what the .... *trigger

What the hell. "I love you" they say. And *poof* they are gone. The very next day. Without warning, without goodbye. Not so much as an email. Not so much as a fight. Just gone.

Do i have a hacker following me?- sabotaging my relationships? Have i finally snapped and developed some kind of split personality? What the ###$ is going on?!

Maybe I'm just not likeable. But why the hell say "i love you". Is this some kind of torture?

With every such occurrence i morph, a little more, outside human norms.

Maybe I have it wrong. Perhaps I am becoming more human; cold, distant.

One day maybe I wont care. Maybe thats the goal; to be immune, indifferent, strong.

The ability to modulate the depth of this feeling. I'll just have to cut it off and feel nothing, or risk being drowned. Say goodbye to that side of myself, for good, without looking back, and become a vulcan.- but not yet. I'll endanger myself with hope a little longer.

One day, you may wonder why I'm so cold.

It is difficult to hold the knife meant to cut that invisible cord that could potentially choke you..especially if it is the very same cord that keeps you alive...

Oh my dear lander, I know this feeling all to well.

Sometimes, I'm pretty sure its the girl looking back at me in the mirror that does it to herself.

Not always the case for us all, but all we can do is hope to have the gumption to change with our personal therapies and experiences.

**hugs**

AMP

PrettyCrazyMe333 wrote:It is difficult to hold the knife meant to cut that invisible cord that could potentially choke you..especially if it is the very same cord that keeps you alive...

I never said before that I appreciated how you worded this response.