BPD meets SPD

Hi!

I posted this some days ago on the Schizoid forum, but now I came here for a different perspective (I'm not sure if I can repost, if not, please, tell me to delete the topic).


Well, this is my story...

I had BDP tendencies since I was a child, you know... Emotional instability, identity disturbance, eating disorders, etc. But nothing too serious.

Unfortunately, two years ago, my emotional instability started getting worse, I got depressed and then I became kinda schizoid. I think that my subconscious suppressed my feelings with anhedonia. I feel better now, I feel happy but... I can't experience pleasure. I mean, I like my life, but I have no hobbies. I am pretty sociable, but I don't want to socialize, I don't want to go out with my friends, I don't like hugs or kisses anymore. I feel this emptiness, I have no goals, no plans for the future. my feelings are almost nonexistant. I feel life is extremely boring. I just wanna die. I've been taking some antidepressants, but I don't think this is depression, and I don't feel better, therapy hasn't helped me either.

What can I do to fight against tiredness, apathy, anhedonia, procastination? I need something to live for, but I can't find it. I have no feelings, no goals... I'm not depressed, I'm just too bored. I have been this way for more than a year. I don't know if you understand... I hope you do.

Any tips, please?

And anyone has experienced this? I'm talking about feeling a lot and then "feeling almost nothing".


Thanks in advance.

Hi, ksnape! Maybe you need different meds or a different combination, it can take a while to find the right one. I'm not sure if you can go from having BPD traits to SPD, your doctor might have to tell you about that. Numbness and a lack of feelings or goals goes with depression sometimes. Have you thought about asking for a second opinion from a psych? You could take a look through the dysthymia forum a bit if you like (not saying it's what you have).