Do i have BPD your thoughts

Btw im male

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
I don't Feel this is me though i do imagine everyone hates me.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
I love my family and never devalue them though i do end relationships on a whim, if i decide i don't like you anymore i end the relationship and have done so with good friends of years.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
I'm an unemployed 24 yr old living off my parents like a leech.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging.
I ###$ hookers and drink a lot. When I'm out i binge drink and do silly things that destroy relationships.

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting,
I have cut myself before and always threaten to kill myself, i love thinking of crafty ways to do it.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood.
Wtf does this mean please explain, i suffer from dysphoria though its not in episodes its my life.

Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Thats a given

Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger.
I had alot of inappropriate anger then i quit my job of 3 and a half yrs BAM! problem solved.I used to imagine killing people but now i'm on a mood stabilizer and it helps heaps .

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms
I feel people look at me that's about it i once bought elma cream and applied it to my stomach in an attempt to cut my stomach area open bad enough that i would require hospitalization so i could get time off of work, this is unrelated i guess.

i worry about the replies i will get and feel anxious posting this please be nice and don't judge me.

sounds like depression

Hmm. I'm not sure if its borderline, but it might possibly be.

What I would consider is major depression with psychotic features. I was in that state once, and it took months to get on the right meds.

It DOES sound like the mood stabilizer is helping you out though. Have you considered taking anti-depressants in addition? I'm not a doctor (AT ALL), but it sounds like a logical step just to try out for improvement.

AMP

MissAli wrote:What I would consider is major depression with psychotic features. I was in that state once, and it took months to get on the right meds.

It DOES sound like the mood stabilizer is helping you out though. Have you considered taking anti-depressants in addition? I'm not a doctor (AT ALL), but it sounds like a logical step just to try out for improvement.

AMP

May I ask you 2 questions Miss Ali?
How long did it take you to get help in WV? I have a family member in that state, might move there if necessary.
Secondly, what anti-depressants do you recommend? I am not on ANY.

Of course you can ask me questions! I've received so much help on this forum, that it's only right to share what I can help others with...

WV has VERY good mental healthcare. I was in Fl previously, and I was put in mental ward lockdown, told I was schizophrenic, and treated like a barnyard animal. I can credit with the healthcare in WV with putting me back together, and making me whole again.

I would HIGHLY recommend looking into coming here for treatment. I think you will find that you get an entire treatment TEAM, and not just "a doctor". If you want to private message me, I can give you some advice on places that I would personally recommend (depending on the region of WV you would be going to).

Otherwise, as far as anti-d's go, I am personally on 20 mgs of Lexapro daily. I went up to 30 mgs once, and it made me a little lethargic. I was on Wellbutrin prior to that, and it seemed to trigger off my anxiety, so it wasn't the one for me, but if you need "get up and go", then the Wellbutrin will work for you. I find that the Lexapro doesn't make me giddy, but it keeps me in line, and keeps the serious depression from recurring.

Let me know if I can help!

AMP

AMP