Whats The Fine Line Between BPD and HPD?

I can appear like a very confident and even narcissistic person some of the time. Beneath that are very deep seeded insecurities which are getting worse each day. I already know my personality is not the best so I rely on my looks and fashion sense.

The above quote is from the thread...

http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic73967.html

I don't post much in the BPD forum, but as a male DX HPD, I spend the majority of my time the HPD forum.

Although, psychiatrists have always bounced around debating whether I am also BPD or have BPD traits. Recently, I have begun to wonder how much BPD I am... And where the whole Cluster B mess begins and ends.

The above quote seems very HPDish to me (And, I can sympathise with the sentiments a lot.)

Thus, my question is thus...

For peeps with BPD... How much do they use looks/ fashion/ flirting and even stepping over the line to using sex for validation before you cross the line to being HPD?

cacster wrote:How much do they use looks/ fashion/ flirting and even stepping over the line to using sex for validation before you cross the line to being HPD?

Watersports, perhaps?

From what I know, the big difference is the internal personality. HPD's are set in their personality and will fight to keep it. BPD's feel that they have no personality of their own and thus must constantly create one for the world (often this changes, based on who we're around).

Also, although we do require constant attention, we don't necessarily need to be the centre of it and, because of our low self-esteem, we often dislike being the absolute centre. We aren't aiming for everyone to always look at it; we just want one person to always love us.

Both groups display narcissistic tendencies, but I think they do it for different reasons. HPD's do it for the attention, whereas BPD's do it to either to get the respect and admiration of someone they want to love them, or to convince the world that they're invulnerable; the theory being that if you don't think you can hurt us, you may not even try. Or, of course, they could just have NPD as well.

Both have an extreme sensitivity to feedback, particularly anything that we interpret as negative, we constantly seek approval and we definitely both have monumental and seemingly random (to non's) emotional shifts. HPD's hate it because it takes away from their limelight, and BDP's hate it because it makes people think less of us, which makes us think even less of ourselves than we already do.

So yes, B & HPD both have a lot of similarities; the big trick isn't in what we do, it's why we do it. And even that is a very fine line.

That's my theory, anyway. Of course, for all I know, I could be talking out of my a**.

It's hard for me to say (but then, I don't have a great knowledge like some people here). I do know that I have strong HPD tendencies, and am also BPD. I think I read somewhere that about 10% of BPDs also have strong HPD behaviour, but it's all very confusing to me tbh. As for the line between the two, I'd suspect that HPD is seen as a notch below NPD in terms of lack of empathy. I've been on the HPD forum a lot in the past, but haven't in a while, which probably just reflects what sides of me are more prominent at any given time in my real life. LOL. I'll be honest here, I personally can't decipher what the difference is between BPD and HPD, since at the heart of both is a difficulty with being alone, rejection etc. Maybe someone who actually knows what they're talking about, ie. not me, can contribute here. lol.
Perhaps one difference is that while HPDs define themselves through sexual validation, BPDs strive to be defined through an emotional validation. Or am I way off?

I think HPDs are looking for attention, and the attention to appearance, use of over-sexualised behaviour etc is the goal in itself, for the attention from that.

A BPD using sexually provocative behaviour and appearance to get sex for validation, is just the same as anyone else using sexually provocative behaviour to get sex. its not necessarily disordered, the problem is "using sex for validation".

I've used sexually provocative behaviour/appearance to get sex. the truth is that it works, (for women anyway,) and because of that anyone who wants sex will use it. the issue is how they want sex and why.

for me it was... escape from my problems, pleasure to kill pain, pain to kill pain, thrill/adventure... never done it for emotional validation, but yes you could say i was a sex addict, lol.

that didn't make me a histrionic. i hated the sort of attention i got off it that histrionics love, unfortunately the behaviour is very similar, so people got the wrong end of the stick and kept trying to give me weird attention i didn't like, in ways i hated to get attention.

If i wanted to run round having lots of sex now, i think i'd be more authentic about it. I just didn't really understand why it was a problem at the time.

Around the time i got together with my boyfriend, i felt differently, because of so much that was happening in my life, i was sick of things being fake, i wanted something real, and i wanted to feel something real, though i didn't really know or understand what i wanted except that i was sick of spending time with people i had to fake it with and wanted to share something, and i chose to sleep with someone i found attractive both physically and as a person too.

cacster wrote:For peeps with BPD... How much do they use looks/ fashion/ flirting and even stepping over the line to using sex for validation before you cross the line to being HPD?

I would have thought using looks/fashion/flirting for validation is much more HPD than BPD. Sex for validation might be more BPD because its about emotional closeness. Looks/fashion/flirting are all about attention, so I'd think they are the most HPD. Misusing sex isn't HPD, that's just sex addiction.

for me, looks/fashion was about how i perceieved myself, (slightly narcissistic i know.)
flirting was about sex, and something i did a lot... because i was thinking about sex, and people flirt when they have sex in mind.

im weird, cause im someone who really hates attention, who sometimes gives/gave out the impression that they like it. i felt like people were treating me like someone i wasn't... but then again at some points was spending a hell of a lot of time acting like someone i wasn't, so its not surprising really.

the "real me" probably can come across like i like attention... i enjoy having a good laugh with my friends, and from where im coming at, that's all it is... if random strangers want to think its about attention, well who cares, ###$ 'em.