PLEASE HELP

by **SKoo89** » Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:28 pm

Hey my names Sierra and I have a borderline personality. My boyfriend has been very supportive in the past with all my cycling, outbursts, mood swings, depression, etc. He even found this forum for me. Recently I've started therapy and I'm just beginning to understand this disorder. Its been really refreshing to understand the reasons I feel and act as I do.
However, my boyfriend doesn't think he can carry on a relationship anymore with someone like me. He's questioning EVERYTHING about our time together in the past year or so. He doesn't think our love is real because I have trust issues. He thinks the way I've treated him (good or bad) is only a result of this disorder.
I love him very much and I don't think our whole relationship has been a sham. I'm capable of loving and trusting I just think I express it differently. I hide any trust to keep from being hurt by it later. I moved 1000 miles away from home so we could still share our lives together. That wasn't just a move made by impulse. It was well thought out and positively charged. People with a BPD are able to trust but our cycles can say otherwise.
I just need him to know that with alot of therapy and work we can succeed. Sufferers of BPD are functioning people just like everyone else. We can hold relationships and be fulfilled. I know during cycles I just need to snap out of it, think about the situation logically, observe my feelings and act upon them non-violently and wisely.

I'm currently bugging out because I feel I've lost him. Overall I adore him and I don't want to scare him further with my crazy feelings but thats what I do. Can somebody help?

Hi Sierra!

I think I can help.

If the bf was able to find you this forum, has he been able to find any support groups for BPD significant others? There are some Non's on here that like to read through the threads and gain a better understanding. Also, would your therapist be open to inviting him to a session with you, to help him understand? The reason that I ask is because you have already made quite a commitment in moving to be with him, and it would be a shame to pack up and go home when this is a treatable disorder.

Is he aware that BPD or not, you are still YOU, even though some of your behaviors need a little tweaking? Not every one of us is the same, not every single one of us like peach ice cream, and so on and so forth. He needs to understand that you are an individual with issues, but not an individual without an identity. Sometimes we're all just struggling to find out way.

I think it is VERY important that you talk to him about these things. There is something he fell in love with to be with you, and to have helped you in finding our forum (BTW- WELCOME!), but it sounds like he needs to get a little 411 of his own on the disorder. Nothing bad, you just need to work together on this.

My therapist gave me her business card to give to my bf in the event that he thought he would ever need to contact her in an emergency. I think that's the best idea I've ever heard! But she's a smart cookie.

Your bf has got to be supportive of you and your journey to recovery, and if he is not willing to, it may be something that you have to accept about him and allow him to live his life. It can be quite difficult to handle us :0). But we're not broken forever...

*hugs*

AMP

PLEASE HELP

PLEASE HELP

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