"I'm not like this offline!"

people have complained about me being uncommunicative... and online it can be true, i find it really hard to talk, especially when stuff is getting too much.

realtime - i can usually communicate all that stuff ok, even when i cant talk about stuff, i don't freeze up and get unable to communicate at all.

its just online, phones, internet, txt messages etc. not people i don't know, only with people i know realtime.

i dont know why im like this, ive obviously had to get past a lot of that to be able to talk online/by txt at all, it used to make me freak out like crazy, and im a lot better but it still makes me uncomfortable.

i think maybe cause i still have a problem with feeling like people are "really there" when im chatting online, that and also can only communicate with words... but i keep having problems and im not like this offline

Kat-

I can't say that I have the same problem, but I DO understand what you're saying.

I'm glad you don't have the problem of talking online anymore, because I thoroughly enjoy your posts and hearing what you have to say :0).

Hope you're having a good one!

AMP

Thanks Ali (((hugs)))

I have a lot of trouble with electronic communication. Sometimes I can do it normally, often I can't. Email and chatting and facebook are all pretty hard for me. Texting is ok. Phone calls are ok if I'm ready for them. Skype is pretty good but awkward if it's someone who I haven't seen in a long time.

I really just like to see people in person. I get so much from people's body language and eyes and the environment we're in. I've never really gotten past that.

betterlatethannever wrote:I have a lot of trouble with electronic communication. Sometimes I can do it normally, often I can't. Email and chatting and facebook are all pretty hard for me. Texting is ok. Phone calls are ok if I'm ready for them. Skype is pretty good but awkward if it's someone who I haven't seen in a long time.

yeah, me too. some days easier than others. txting, people are more "real" so in one way its easier, in another way its harder. similar with phonecalls unless im feeling really crappy, or if im really comfortable with the person im talking to, then its ok even if i don't feel great.

betterlatethannever wrote:I really just like to see people in person. I get so much from people's body language and eyes and the environment we're in. I've never really gotten past that.

exactly! its good to know when someone gets it

katana wrote:

betterlatethannever wrote:I really just like to see people in person. I get so much from people's body language and eyes and the environment we're in. I've never really gotten past that.

exactly! its good to know when someone gets it

Yeah, it seems pretty basic to me. People are meant to see each other in real life. I think having BPD makes us more sensitive to the ways people keep distance from each other.

betterlatethannever wrote:Yeah, it seems pretty basic to me. People are meant to see each other in real life. I think having BPD makes us more sensitive to the ways people keep distance from each other.

lol, well its true nature didn't invent phones or internet! but BPDs are just as good at keeping distance as hating distance! lol

the other thing i noticed is that unless im feeling very level/ok and trying very hard i end up seeming/being more self-absorbed/self-centred online than offline too - because of the whole hard to process that people are really there thing, and also cause online communication makes me ...anxious? (i think) i find it hard to process stuff. i don't know, its hard to explain, but it sort of does end up that way.

i'm not having a go at or judging any of the people on this forum for wanting to communicate online, its my issue, just ...communicating i guess! lol

I prefer chatting online to offline; Skype, I have to be in the mood for and it's only a handful of people that I consider friends from offline that I've talked with on it so far. Phones, I just don't do them. I have to find that narrow window, maybe ten minutes in a week to check my voicemail messages, but other than that, I don't use it. True, this results in me losing work, but I hate phones. Hate 'em! I prefer to see people's faces when talking with them. However, I like online communication, because I find people to be more open about their inner feelings (at least, at the types of places I visit). Offline discourse is fraught with the keeping up of appearances.

miss_communication wrote:Phones, I just don't do them. I have to find that narrow window, maybe ten minutes in a week to check my voicemail messages, but other than that, I don't use it. True, this results in me losing work, but I hate phones. Hate 'em! I prefer to see people's faces when talking with them.

No, i get that totally. horrible things, lol. but ive got used to them - mostly after phone-shock-treatment at work lol. i'll often jump in the car and go to see people instead of phoning them, even just for short conversations. most people probably find that odd, but i find it easier.

miss_communication wrote:However, I like online communication, because I find people to be more open about their inner feelings (at least, at the types of places I visit). Offline discourse is fraught with the keeping up of appearances.

That's often true. it doesn't have to be that way with everyone. i could talk the way i talk online offline, if i was sure other people were ok with it, but often people do want to keep up appearances.

i have to admit that is one thing i like about talking here, even tho its online.

If a moks types a post, and no one answers, is there anyone there to validate his feelings? Woah man....woah...

When communicating with a therapist I love the face to face, but it's at that time that I do a lot of my self-counselling. Hearing me voice my thoughts out loud often takes me through a process of self-analysis and then realization.

With that being said, talking to regular people face-to-face is a chore for me. I can do it really well (I learned how to fake it a long time ago), but I would prefer electronic chat because I don't have to respond if I don't want to, or I can hide my contempt for people when they say something comepletely ludicris.

Just my two cents