Need help

So the husband is going to see his divorce lawyer.

He's pushing my buttons on purpose to get me angry and blow up/rage

He claims that that's not the case

How do go about living in this situation?

I can't ignore him because he is with the kids all the rest of the evening after he gets off work...meaning I have to suck it up when he gets his little jabs in, in front of them.

If I leave them all be to avoid a fight, then it doesn't look good because I'm not doing the " family thing". He already told me that he plans on using that as an example that he is the primary caregiver.

Help need suggestions till I can take anger management classes.

What an a$$

This is probably too late but..

Keep an elastic band around your wrist and snap it when he makes a jab?

Or be even more attentive to the kids when hes there and show that hes not bothering you, then once he leaves go and smash the crap out of a pillow, ideally with a picture of him on it..

Remember by having BPD we are also blessed with the ability to turn into a cold hearted bitch and turn feelings off towards people.. so maybe try take advantage of that? not sure how u work..

Also how old are the kids ? are they old enough to be able to understand the situation?

Maybe "leave them all be to avoid a fight" to go and do something that is still being part of the family.. like making a batch of biscuits/cookies or something or preparing a snack for the kids (someone here suggested chopping up veges was a good anger management thing) then maybe one of the kids will offer to help which still keeps u in the family time too

im only 24 and childless so probably wont be of much help, but saw that no one else had replied and wanted to try and help xx

Ahhh, so now the man who wanted to avoid getting lawyers is now seeing a lawyer? Interesting.

I have a feeling that he has already seen one. He is trying to push you to do something nasty and irresponsible so that he can take notes and keep a journal of all the things you do wrong. Lawyers have people do this all of the time as a tactic to "win" in the court for the divorce.

In short, he is trying to prove you are an unfit mother, unstable, and undeserving of alimony.

If I were you, I would pony up on a lawyer. You're really going to need it. And start keeping a journal YOURSELF, of all of the provoking that he is doing, KNOWING that you have a disorder.

AMP