how do you stop constantly hurting people?!

I tend to be in an argument with a sig. other or friend and I just cant stop arguing because as I am I feel like afterward they are going to hate me and think differently of me and hate me or its going to ruin all the progress I/We made. Ughh its so annoying and I always wind up making a scene and making matters worse. Something happened and I apologized soo many times just to make sure they understood, and i wind up going on and on and on about it and make me look crazy and just create more issues and problems. its hard for me to believe people, i always need reassurance that everything will be OK. Does anyone else have this problem??

I used to find myself doing similar things. It takes a while and a bit of work to learn to stop it though.

Don't know about you, but I used to bring up plenty of stuff from the other person's past when I was arguing with them. If you do that, it's one of the first things to stop doing. You have to be so present to do that. Sometimes with me it feels like I've stepped back, taken the censor off my mouth, and just let loose. That's one of the quickest ways to turn friends into enemies, which I learned the hard way. Other things to do are to analyse the argument as you go - ask yourself if this is a problem worth fighting over, if you are using anger to cover up something else, etc. Anger is often related to either fear or pain, so if you look a little deeper when you are angry, you may find that there's a different issue to be dealt with.

Who do you tend to argue with? People you've known for a long time, who have stood by you so far? If so, trust that saying sorry once is enough. Good friends know you, they understand you, and they probably want to move on from that frustration so there can be fun time again. I know it's hard to do that, but your good friends will only need to hear "I'm sorry for that" once.

I can see some similarity in that. I don't continue fighting for the same reason, but because I always feel I am right or feel I will fall apart if I realize I am wrong.
I do have the same in the end though, the constant apologizing, even months later I remind them of the fact and say how stupid it was and apologize a billion times. I end up thinking more of it than the person themselves it seems. I just cannot get over it, even when they tell me it's OK, I feel they really don't mean it.I have trouble letting things go, especially when I hurt others or when they hurt me. Yet I still continue doing it. Hmm..