PDA's (public displays of anger)

Pretty sure my street thinks Im crazy now. I just threw my bag on the ground because the strap wouldnt work properly... But then again I just got off the phone with my mother, who is complaining about me not having a job... And telling me to stop dating a guy I've been seeing...

Now Im all embarrassed and might walk another way tomorrow...

Got me thinking, how often do you have PDA's and what has been your most violent or embarrassing one?

Oh man, it sucks when your neighbors see something like that. At least if it's in a strange place you won't meet the people again!

Mine isn't so bad, i try to hold my anger. Once I did go psycho. My bf and I were downtown for our anniversary and having a good time. It was a good day. We went into a coffee shop to relax, then he went to the washroom. It was perfect timing for me to check his phone because I wanted to see if he was talking to any girls...I went through and saw some girls name I'd known. I read the convo and i could feel my anger building, just when I saw that my bf texted her saying "My girlfriend has BPD!" That was it. I was on fire! My entire body was shaking and i just wanted to break everything in my way. He came right away and i smiled at him and called him a jerk...and the yelling started inside the coffee shop. I ended up walking out of the coffee shop while he was running after me. I was shaking violently like i was dying from a cold, and i was screaming at the top of my lungs and started kicking some garbage can. People stopped and stared but i didn't give a $#%^. This went on for about half hour...i told him to ###$ off and die and we were over.

Back in high school I went to a new school one year in a really bad area and I was bullied. One of them followed me into the bathroom one day and I tried to choke her and told her I'd kill her. Someone pulled me off of her and I was kicked out of that school. I probably looked crazy and it is embarrassing to think about, but I don't really regret it. Those kids stole my stuff, kicked a desk into me, tried to follow me home, etc and I snapped one day.

Other than that, I haven't had any violent outbursts. Usually when I get angry I just storm off without saying a word. Seems to be the most effective.

I have an aura of anger now that people can sense right when I walk into a store or into a room. It's like they can feel it burning off me, I just have a very angry presence and I don't even have to say anything or look at anyone. My violent outbursts have usually been only with people who were very close to me but I have been acting more angry lately and I guess people can tell if they are around me.

I'd have to say my worst public one occurred at the age of 21, the cops were called to the scene and I almost ended up in a psych hospital. It was at a grocery store. I'd been on benefits since I was 18 and I got sick of the embarrassment of always coming up short in grocery lines with a line of people behind me and having to do the "put things back" dance.

I also felt like society treated me like $#%^.

One day it happened --I came up short-- and I just snapped, I can't remember precisely what I said but it was something along the lines of "god ######6 dammit I'm sick and tired of getting ######6 embarrassed all of the god damn ######6 time, dammit, god ######6 dammit, I hate you all", and then I began shouting at the poor cashier girl as she was smiling (and turning red), I realized afterwards it was due to embarrassment on her own part but at the time I felt she was laughing at me, so I said to her "quit ######6 smiling, you ######6 bitch this isn't funny quit ######6 laughing, quit laughing ###$ you!"

I then stormed out of the store on a tirade shouting "I ######6 hate all of you, I hate every one of you I ######6 want to kill you, I'm sick of you all I want you dead", while kicking grocery carts in my path.

My mom had given me a lift there as I'd told her I didn't feel up to walking there and back home to my place that day. She ended up helping to convince the police to not take me to the hospital. Saying "he'll be coming home with me", etc.

The fact that I had completely calmed down by that stage and could articulately explain myself and apologize helped things. I was totally rational and logical by the time the police arrived. Lol, happened all the time, I'd get that angry or upset then 5-10 minutes later I was cool as a cucumber wondering "What's the big deal?"

OMG. I have to say, a HUGE thank you for making me laugh my face off. I truly need that right now, because I'm about to walk down this street in VA Beach beating cars in with the channel changer in my hand. That will be my weapon of choice. I'm also considering dumping all of the pasta that I made last night over the 9th floor railing, while laughing maniacally. I am SO F*****in' MAD right now I could well, beat cars with a TV remote and dump pasta off a balcony.

Why, you ask? Why do I have this incredible sense of rage and anger right now? I have already slammed my fists defiantly into the sofa until it hurt. I also think the sofa is begging for mercy, and at this point, I'm not sorry about it.

Well, my bf had a business meeting 2.5 hours away, went for drinks with boss and his sales buddies, and proceeded to get so sh**-faced that his friend just called me FROM HIS PHONE and said that he pissed his pants in the lobby, and was lying face-down on his floor in his hotel room spitting.

F&&&****&UOP(IYUAQWEHREHR'in GREAT. While I sit here in his apartment, in a city I'm COMPLETELY unfamiliar with, and a dog who has to be walked from a 9th floor commercial building. I am SEETHING. And I mean SEETHING. I want to BREAK SH*T. I would feel a LOT better watching something fall to pieces, or shatter, or just hear the sound of my anger coming from SOMEWHERE else other than my screaming brain.

I am PISSED. SO INCREDIBLY PISSED.

That bastard probably had his friend call me so that he could feed me some bullsh*t story and so that they could go out. They're probably at a strip club right now, laughing about the story they concocted.

I AM SOOOOO PISSED. Please, help me understand my anger. Because I am staring at this TV remote, and just having some serious thoughts about doing damage.

AMP

Apocallcaps, your story made me laugh so hard! It's exactly how I would react as well, infact I have. Some old woman at a supermarket wouldn't let me go through the checkout to get into the shop. She shoved her trolley in the way and said "No! Go to the front entrance, I'm sick of you young people not obeying the rules". Well, she picked on the wrong person that day! I went crazy, I started swearing "You stupid rude bitch, ######6 move out of my way! I'm having a ###$ up day and I don't need some old twat ######6 it up even more". Her jaw literally dropped to the ground, everyone was staring at me, so I stuck up my rude finger and told everyone to stop ######6 looking at me, went in the next check-out and started my shopping.

Apocallcaps wrote: Lol, happened all the time, I'd get that angry or upset then 5-10 minutes later I was cool as a cucumber wondering "What's the big deal?"

Exactly what happens to me I was fine 5 minutes later.

MissAli, I'm glad I made you laugh lol! I would happily beat up cars with a tv remote at times too. Relationships are horrible, I'm sorry that happened with your boyfriend. Is everything ok with you two now? What happened when he got home? I would have flipped out too! Don't do anything damaging to yourself though, punching pillows is always helpful (but like you said, mercy to the pillow). I usually throw things at walls... which I go on to regret later. But I understand how you're so angry, I would be too in that situation.

ajrocker8, people are very good at sensing others emotions, especially when they're negative. I hope things have gotten better for you.. I'm here for you, and will pm you later ((hugs))

neowhimsical, she did deserve it! Sounds like you had a hard time in school. I did too, I was quite violent when I was having a tantrum or when I was angry. But I think thats the best way, storming off without saying a word. That way you don't say anything you regret or break any nice plates

lonelyworld, people expect us to trust easily, how can we when there is evidence like that?! I completely understand your anger, he deserved that. Garbage cans are always good to kick when angry (I've found anyway)

I used to have these a lot. Still do, but more subdued...

Usually happens because I hold too much in... I hold SO MUCH in...
But whatever... So I throw some stuff. What do I care what other people think. The important thing for me is that I don't hurt anyone or something...

I'm sorry I hijacked your thread!!!

Of course, I gave him the worst treatment when he got home the next day. I was cold, quiet, hateful, until he was begging and groveling.

I mean, jeez, the guy just got too drunk at a work function, and had to be taken care of. So yeah, I still think he pissed himself as his friend said, but he swears that he sat on a wet chair (who sits on a wet chair?? And stays there? I mean, WHAT?), but anyways.

I'm better now. And the pasta ended up safe, because I decided to binge-eat instead of beating the cars with the remote (so that's safe too).

I LOVE THIS THREAD!!! I hope others share too! This is one that has really raised my spirits!

AMP

I lash out i am impulsively aggressive and sometimes after an argument. I tend to be unable to stop arguing then feel guilty and embarrassed or really paranoid after it. Little things give me the shits for eg - buying pricey shoes and then the zip breaks, losing things, people getting in the way, people being slow in front of me, people who are rude when i msstakenly bump into them or impulsively act out i usually arch up or explode. My angers pretty explosive i am a ticking bomb or walking land mine and the wrong person steps in the wrong place i go off like a bomb.