Hello Everyone. I'm Erika.

MissAli wrote:And SMILE- ROCK ON, with the MAN!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

That fell through. Lol.
He found a 4'11" athletic chick. I'm out of the running again.
Whatever... Back to tequila. ^_^

Tequlia for you, jaeger for me! CHEERS!!!!


AMP

MissAli wrote:Tequlia for you, jaeger for me! CHEERS!!!!


AMP

I'm in. Vodka, as usual, for me. Yay!!!!!

I'll be back to posting more regularly soon.

Erika

I dated a few strippers, very fun & fast life The BPD kicks in & being alone is sometimes good. Last girl who was somewhat similar to you, she was wild as hell..prob like you a few years ago. Anyway she had some young sexual abuse, caused her to gravitate towards stripping. She fed on guys, being beautiful guys loved her, she was heavily into drugs. At her lowest point she would disappear for a few days..she would hit the street for a guy or 2, get money for a hotel & drugs for the week. Somehow our relationship was of respect, she knew what I liked and I knew what she liked. I didnt treat her like a whore or make her feel bad if she didnt press her meth or coke habit on me. I suspect she has BPD, we knew how to make each other feel better after a bad day, like we could read eachother in some odd way. Her drug & alcohol habit got out of control with her dancing life style. When I took her friend to work, we hit alot of bars for shots before she was ready to dance. That was a few years ago when I was more out of control. She is in jail for a while, one day her emotions got the best of her and after drinking it ended in an accident.

Mr. Droid-

Please do not overgeneralize strippers nor escorts. Our Erika is a sweet girl, and is working out her issues and is very new to posting and forum. Please show her some love and respect so that she will not be offended by your post above. I don't want her feelings to be hurt.

PS- I'm probably overly-sensitive this evening, because I'm so mad at my bf that I'm about to dump pasta off the 9th floor balcony and beat cars on the street with a TV remote. If I'm being overly-sensitive, please ignore me.

I am somewhat protective over Erika. She's new like me. We have different professions, but we are still ladies with issues. :0)

AMP

Ali, I didnt mean any disrespect. She is a sweetie as well as everyone else on here. If I expressed any anger or frustration it is because I love her so much that I knew she was hurting herself so much by her actions. She is the last girl I let have my heart, It hurt me so much inside, even when her dad would take me to a strip club I was sick inside, especially after she told me the inner workings of how the clubs operate with young girls..I remember my abuse and how much I still hurt over it, I know her abuse was equally if not more destructive than mine. I tried & tried, so did many others to get her to use her abilities for something better, to show her daughter that mommy was strong and would be able to break the cycle which has plagued her family. She is now in jail for some years due to her actions & has not seen her daughter in a few years. Erika, I hope you can find it inside yourself to find a friend, therapy or something that can help your family break this cycle.

It is possible to beat this, takes time but with friends & the right people you will be stronger and able to help girls get out of that business.

When I need to unload stress besides obviously what helps a guy, I spend an afternoon @ the gun range

I'm sure Droid meant no disrespect.

As BPDers we can all relate to each other and know how the others feel.
Sometimes life just sounds rougher than we'd like it to.

Hi... :0)

Had a bad night that night, and feel that I need to apologize on the thread for my over-sensitivity.

I'm glad you're here, Droid. You offer a lot of good advice, and I overreacted.

So, I am VERY sorry, and will try to keep myself in-check :0). Sometimes, sh*t happens, but it always takes a bigger girl to apologize. I hope you're okay with that.

;0)

AMP

MissAli wrote:Hi... :0)

Had a bad night that night, and feel that I need to apologize on the thread for my over-sensitivity.

I'm glad you're here, Droid. You offer a lot of good advice, and I overreacted.

So, I am VERY sorry, and will try to keep myself in-check :0). Sometimes, sh*t happens, but it always takes a bigger girl to apologize. I hope you're okay with that.

;0)

AMP

We all have bad nights or days..we can express ourselves here, Its all good..

My boyfriend really hurt me one time. How could he? I was SO phucking loving and SO phucking devoted and caring. I wasn't always the easiest person to deal with, but how could he do that? Every single time I really stop to think about it, I am consumed by a murderous phucking rage. You have no idea how hurt and shaken and mortified and devastated I am by every aspect of what was hidden from me. To this day, it shakes me to the core. I don't care how long ago the 'act itself' occurred. I could literally phucking explode, and when I do that, it's not fun for anyone. HOW PHUCKING COULD HE? I SO want to get back at him, but there's nobody even worth doing it with. Yes, I'll admit, he's the only one I have EVER wanted anything with and HE wanted someone else, and he PHUCKING PHUCKED me, and not in a good way. I could literally phucking kill myself, or him, or both. The pain is overwhelming. I wish I could go back and phucking torture him for what he did to me, the moment he came back. I wish I could walk in while they phucked and shoot them both in the phucking head. I am so pissed off. I hate the person who did that to me, I hate my phucking life. That phucking stupid c**t got everything I wanted, just like everyone else. Phuck both of them.
I apologize for my outburst. I'm feeling a little 'BPD' at the moment. Can you tell?
Erika