Is lying and turning on your friends a borderline trait?

Maybe it was just a coincidence that all 3 borderlines I know did both to a great extent or are both lying and turninig on friends a borderline trait? Is Casey Anthony borderline as I suspect, thus allowing her to distortedly think she had to cover up what was probably an accidental drowning?

Steve

-- Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:59 am --

That Dr guy on HLN TV wondered out loud if Casey was a sociopath or borderline or what.

Steve

-- Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:36 am --



Steve

-- Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:40 am --

spoke to a girl livin in the US in the year 2165, my friend channeled her who is very good as seeing things due to her much wider awareness than ours now, and she told me two years ago that Casey was innocent and that if she hadnt lied there would have been no problem.

If so and if Casey is indeId boderliine, Id like to add that the public condemned Casey most for dancing all night and tattoos of the good life etc right after her child died but what they dont take into account is how amazingly different borderlines (the 3 I know at least( are from non borderline people, they simply see things differently, distortedly I would say. So throughout the trial I was able to understand that if Casey was borderline, I could see her doing the opposite to the usual grief. Do you think a borderline is capable of that degree of divergence from what is "norma" human behaviior?

People lie and turn on each other, you don't have to be borderline to do that. There are plenty of non's in high schools and the work force who will turn on each other in an instant if it gets them where they want to be. Just like there are plenty of non's who won't.

pheonixrise wrote:People lie and turn on each other, you don't have to be borderline to do that. There are plenty of non's in high schools and the work force who will turn on each other in an instant if it gets them where they want to be. Just like there are plenty of non's who won't.

So then it isi not one of the traits of the borderline to lie or turn on friends to a a great extreme, like the 3 I know? I am speaking of a matter of extreme degree, not the averrage amount of lying or turning on friends.

Thanks, Steve

It's certainly not one of the criteria for BPD. The only person I know who lies to and turns on her friends to an extreme degree is not a borderline. Maybe the BPD makes it worse, but I'd expect that if you were able to take the BPD out of those people, they'd still be liars and they'd still turn on their friends.

I think it depends really, I mean people turn on each other all the time.

I think, through my experiences, I've only lied to people to keep them closer, and I've only turned on friends when they have done something to hurt me. I don't intentionally turn on people or lie to them because I'm a b*tch, or because I'm borderline. I guess others may percieve things we do as "extreme", but I don't turn on friends, I block them out when I sense they're going to block me out or when they hurt me emotionally. It's a defense mechanism. But it's not in the criteria for borderline pd... Black and white thinking probably contributes to the "extreme behaviour" when turning on your friends..

I hope that kind of answers your question It's more how I behave though, not saying it's the generalized way that people with bpd behave though.

Chaudement wrote:I think, through my experiences, I've only lied to people to keep them closer, and I've only turned on friends when they have done something to hurt me. I don't intentionally turn on people or lie to them because I'm a b*tch, or because I'm borderline. I guess others may percieve things we do as "extreme", but I don't turn on friends, I block them out when I sense they're going to block me out or when they hurt me emotionally. It's a defense mechanism. But it's not in the criteria for borderline pd... Black and white thinking probably contributes to the "extreme behaviour" when turning on your friends..

If I have done it, it would be for the same reasons that Chaudement has written- to protect yourself or to try and prevent them from leaving you. Not something I do deliberately, but I'd say I've done it without realising.

Personally, it was my friends doing the lying and turning on ME that I believe was partially responsibly for me developing borderline. So does that make it them or me the one with the issue??? Cos if it's screwed me up, maybe they've finally got their turn. That sounds nasty, but sadly it's they only way they'd ever learn.

Ok Thanks. The one thing I would see is the borderlines I know would be they would misperceive the facts that led to their turninig on their friends or exaggerate the degree of the transgression that person perpetrated regarding the borderline where someone else would have sloughed it off or forgiven.

Actually I dont agree with the commentator that Casey Anthony turs on everyone in the end Yeah she has rejected her mothers visits to the jail but her ex fance said her mother was relentless negative and ruthlessly demaninig to her her whole life, and as for her father, it would not endear me to him if he testifiieid , as he did, in ways designed to get me executed, unnecessarily, when he kept claiming he KNEW the smell in Casey's car was that of a human body decomposing, as if it couldnt possibly be rotting garbage sack as the defense claims No one can be so sure and he could have kept that to himsmelf if he loved Casey.

By the way, I am drawn to the personality of borderlines, I like them, like being with them Find them interesting and fun.

Steve

-- Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:51 pm --

I posed the above question to a psychiatrist from the church I go to a few minutes ago about whether borderlines have a tendency to turn on people and for what itis worth he said yes they do as part of the tendency to flip flop between seeing another as angel to a devil and maybe back and forth which is part of the DSM5mas I remember and Ive seen in in my borderline friends, one of whom can go back and forth minute by minute even, although he says if they feel betrayed it can be long lasting and he added what makes them feel betrayed is often diistorted or slight. He however didnt necessarily believe they lie a lot more than the average person.

Steve

I think what people would be referring to in relation to BPD would be splitting?

But splitting is not the only reason people turn on their friends.

Deleted.

I'm not gonna make any bones about it. I've turned on people, sometimes even without being provoked. Sometimes I just decide I don't like them anymore, don't give a sh*t about their opinions, and just lash out and do something hateful to get them away from me. Then, once they're gone, I feel ashamed of what I did (even though at the time it felt good to let loose on some unsuspecting person), and I know that they will never again be able to trust me as a friend. I think it has something to do with self-loathing. Just proving to myself that I'm as ugly in my outbursts as I feel inside sometimes.

Make sense?

And then of course, I have CHASED the approval of people I don't even LIKE. Being BPD is interesting, to say the least, but it's also a self-imposed hell.

AMP