am i just being stupid or was this rude?

Ok so if people have read my previous posts I have social anxiety issues, much like everyone on here so it seems. So I made some breakthroughs this week, I met some of my boyfriends friends and I was fine. Then I decide I want to go see the new Harry Potter movie so I asked my bf to ask one his friends and their wife to go with us .. so i've initiated the event/done the inviting.. via a proxy because I dont use facebook.. this was a few nights ago and they had said yes etc so I was cool we're going to see HP with these two other people and I'm gonna be fine.. then tonight my bf says to me oh btw C (the friends wife) has started a facebook event for HP.. I'm like WTF?? and apparently now 3 or 4 other people are coming..

I'm furious and offended

reason:

- i did the inviting I said does x and y want to come see HP with us, not does x and y + 4 tag-alongs want to come see HP with us
- in the facebook event thing shes also included dinner and drinks and has established that all this was going to happen on saturday night without consulting my bf (and me)
- this was actually really hard for me to do, inviting people to do something with us and now i feel like ive just been pushed aside and shes taken over everything

Im absolutely fuming inside .. im likening it to having a party and inviting someone and then that person brings like 10 people with them that u dont know..

argh!

So BSl... I can actually validate what you're saying.

It WAS rude. You invited another couple to do something, and it was a VERY BIG step for you (CONGRATULATIONS!!! Don't let this overshadow your progress!!!). And of course, these people may not know that, but still, proper etiquette would say that when you're invited to something with another couple, you don't invite those that were not originally invited as well.

I don't blame you for fuming, but my best advice would be to try to be cordial with this woman, even though you probably want to scream. I would.

Are you still gonna go?

AMP

AMP

THANK YOU!!!!

My bf just told me i was being dumb

My instant reaction was "well you can go but i sure as hell won't be"

I've calmed down a little bit now and probably will still end up going to keep my bf happy but doesnt change the fact im pissed off

bsl9408 wrote:AMP

THANK YOU!!!!

My bf just told me i was being dumb

My instant reaction was "well you can go but i sure as hell won't be"

I've calmed down a little bit now and probably will still end up going to keep my bf happy but doesnt change the fact im pissed off

I think it was rude, but chances are they have no idea they were being rude. If you don't go, it's going to set your progress back a lot. So just see it as a challenge that the universe has placed on you to see if you can jump two steps at a time.

yeah ill go, coz it is important that i confront things like that.. have two days for the anger to dissipate .. plus i wanna see harry potter!

feel a lot better that people are agreeing its rude and its not just me so thank u

No i agree with everyone - that's rude, i'd be really mad about it if it were me, probably would also be more mad than was rational lol. - but i also used to be inconsiderate enough that i think i have done stuff like that myself in the past too - also had it done to me too. still, it is rude.but i also agree with what Faceless said, i think you should go for it anyway.

I agree. This has happened a lot of times to me as well and it does annoy the hell out of me.

I'm REALLY glad for your BSL - going will make you feel better about your progress, and it will also show that you're a bigger person. And of course, it always helps to have some time to let the anger simmer... I feel the same way. If I was going today, and it was me in this situation, I would have been sullen and probably hateful towards her... you're much better than me!!!

At least you will have about 2 hours where you won't have to speak to her :0).

Enjoy the movie!!! KUDOS FOR MAKING THE FIRST STEP!!!

AMP

lol... i was just writing this "Now the issue is that I instantly don't like this person and will have to pretend that I do and be friendly etc when I'm actually extremely annoyed with them.. another challenge!" when you praised me for not being sullen and hateful lol

BSL-

No matter what, you're making a HUGE concession by going, and it's a BIG deal. I hope your boyf understands this and praises you as well.

As for how to treat her, deal with it...etc., I would just do the "niceties" if you can stand it, act cordial, and even though you might NOT feel this way, act like you're having a GREAT time. Like I said, at least there will be a couple hours where you don't have to interact with her :0).

If you can't stand it, well, NO BIGGIE. You gotta do what you're comfortable with. I think you should try to make the effort if you can do it, though. Just my advice, and I'm no Miss Mary Sunshine, either. I don't know if I could follow my own advice always, but at least attempting the effort appeases me with my behavior sometimes. How sad that can be.

Oh well!! You're gonna have a GREAT weekend! It's the last installment of the movie series!

AMP