So where do I belong?

Hi , this is my first post and I'm hoping that someone can help me. In a nutshell I have a lot of problems, this spring I attempted to commit suicide and started cutting to relieve the endless chaos and pressure. I was diagnosed with a number of disorders, including personality disorder nos, with borderline, avoidant and dependant traits. What is this? what does it mean? The psych RN said that the distinction wasn't important. I looked at your forum and there were only a few posts on the subject. Isn't being a little bit bordeline (avoidant, dependant..) a bit like being a little bit pregnant? I'm confused.

Thanks
Panz

Hi Panz,
I can't really help you with what you're asking but I can say that I am in a similar position. My pyschiatrist thinks I have borderline personality disorder and cyclothymia but that i am "complex" and then next minute he's saying he doesn't want to put labels on me. It is very confusing, the neds are helping though but I do feel like a freak. He thinks i have a dissociative disorder but at the end of the day all these things are just words. I spend so much time self analysing and it's not a good thing. Try not to let what they say get to you, I take each day as it comes now and attempt to enjoy the roller coaster ride although this isn't always the case. I try to assess my behaviour..like am I really justified in having a go at someone or not...but it does make me obsseive sometimes. all I can say is I really hope you find some answers, suicide is not the answer, the world needs you in it. I've tried to do it a few times but it never helps and there's always a chance things will get better when you're alive. Your post helped me because I don't feel so isolated now. Good luck

Panz wrote:Hi , this is my first post and I'm hoping that someone can help me. In a nutshell I have a lot of problems, this spring I attempted to commit suicide and started cutting to relieve the endless chaos and pressure. I was diagnosed with a number of disorders, including personality disorder nos, with borderline, avoidant and dependant traits. What is this? what does it mean? The psych RN said that the distinction wasn't important. I looked at your forum and there were only a few posts on the subject. Isn't being a little bit bordeline (avoidant, dependant..) a bit like being a little bit pregnant? I'm confused.

Thanks
Panz

Hi Panz

Different PD have different sx's, Borderline has many. If you are exibiting one or more of these traits(as they are called) then you might be initially dx's as something like ......borderline traits. What he is saying is that you are displaying sx of the 3 pd's, but are not fullblown, you may just be beginning these traits from a recent event triggering them, that have been there all along, or you may be coping and healing, but the traits are still there.

A doctor cannot see thru us, we have to show them our brains by talking and journaling.

My BPD went untreated for almost 15 years, along with bipolar. I thought my behavior was bpd, since they are so much alike. Except for the rambling speech. I am bipolar 1 so my moods stay pretty manic. I ignored the bpd for years, til it manifested other pd's, i.e. ppd, avoidant, dpd, ocpd, And as you can see there is a link with each of them. I get paranoid, so I avoid people, I depend on my So and mother for safety, and I am very rigid, ( I was a victim of a violent crime) so I control my enviroment.

Like an onion you have to pull away the layers of pd's to heal.

Nice analogy there Ddee.