Intense Feelings and Over-Reaction

Just seems like I feel things too intensly than is appropriate and then over-react to these intense feelings.
This is for situations that I care about or am obsessing about, because I seem to disregard or blunt other feelings or more so situations out as I intensely focus on the others.

Anyone else describe themselves this way?

Ditto on every point

yes

I really hate how intense my emotions become over the most innocuous things. I would like to think I’m getting better at this, but it’s still very problematic. When it’s so overwhelming when it feels like I’m going to explode, there’s just nothing I can do. I have to leave, lie down, cry or do SOMETHING. I’m unable to just carry on with whatever it is I’m doing like a normal human being.

I’m perfectly capable of having sympathy and empathy for others. However I have difficulty being confronted with their emotions; at least when it comes to a great outpouring of emotion such as crying or anger. My reaction is to turn around and become the optimistic one for a change, to play it down or look on the bright side. Otherwise I might even resent it. If my husband is moody or down I resent it because I can’t help but soak it up. I feel somehow responsible for it and I can’t feel OK or happy myself until he feels better and for someone who is often down in the dumps it makes me annoyed.

When I was first diagnosed they use to tell me I was thin skinned, emotionally. I felt they meant I over-react (because I do). But I think that thin skin also allows more emotion to flow out. That intensity and unpredictable triggers often make bad things happen. (then comes intense guilt). I also feel disconnected from the rest of life when I'm obsessively ruminating over things. Then something else happens and this obsession shuts down. Almost a "Hey, look something shiny" moment. I want to be able to do that myself. Shut it down. Instead of waiting for something shiny to distract me.(if it's really shiny I'll obsess on that and the cycle continues).

agbaon,

I’m unable to just carry on with whatever it is I’m doing like a normal human being.

yes, my feelings exactly
The really strong emotions for me are when someone is appearing to reject me or leave, then I feel the panick overtake me, in an instant 'rush' of emotion. Then I am complelled to say something to gain reassurance, which ineveitably is interpreted by the type of people I seem to attract as a weakness that they prey upon. Then I'll get angry and explode and this will go a few cycles until they cut me off. I am learning to recognize and control it through DBT, but sometimes it happens too fast and I'm too far into it and I can't or won't allow myself to back out. I am finding that I will need to avoid the very people I am most attracted to, for those are the one's that trigger me the most, but it is hard when there is this crazy draw and attraction.

I also, absorb and feel others emotions too intensly as well. I tend to want to help others and be empathetic and also do not like to hurt others feelings, so when they pour out their emotions I absorb them like a sponge. I recently met someone who was extremely needy and clung to me and I became as anxious and dysfunctional as her and I had to back away.

Iwoya, we seem to be so attracted to these strong emotions because we crave to feel and be connected, but it's always in over-drive and runs it's course of excess and crashing. It takes a tremendous toll on us and those around us.
Stress seems to precipitate it all and my inability to handle it.

What you've described is classic BPD.....and probably the hardest bit to live with. Reacting "more intensely than appropriate" is not your fault....it's the way we're genetically programmed. For some of us it's inappropriate anger, for others it's inappropriate reaction to rejection or criticism.....but it's only "inappropriate" when you look at it compared to "normal" behaviour. People without BPD are able to modulate their reaction so that it falls into appropriate levels. We are unable to modulate our reaction so it appears inappropriate. But there's not a huge amount we can do to stop the emotional tsunami from hitting us. It's an "over" reaction that is probably going to happen 99.9% of the time. Don't despair though - because once you recognise your "over"reactions then you can learn how to deal with them in a more helpful way. Even if it is a case of thinking "hang on, I'm crying and feel overly upset because someone has just said i could have helped them a bit more. This is an emotional spike so I need to leave the room until it passes". Or something like that....you'll find your own words and ways of bringing yourself down to tolerable levels. When I start crying because of criticism (constructive or barely meant!) I tell the other person that I'm upset, there's nothing I can do to stop it right now, but could they please just get on with other stuff and leave me a few minutes. within 10 minutes I am calm and rational again and better able to deal with their comments. But if I try to fight the feeling and stop myself from crying then it just gets worse and worse.

And of course things are worse when it's something you care about. Again, that's part of BPD (well, it's part of my BPD anyway). Especially if I'm working in a group and the others aren't taking it seriously enough....they probably are taking it seriously but I feel as if they're not and then it just gets really messy with nobody talking to me or wanting to work with me again. So now I try to look at things I'm doing and rank them on a scale of 0 to 10 as to how important they REALLY are, not how important I FEEL they are....if that makes sense? It's tough though - it'll be stuff that I have to work on my whole life I reckon. the trick is to ACCEPT these things are likely to be with us for the rest of our lives because they are results of our poorly wired emotion regulation system. If we were able to stop reacting in the ways we do, we would have done it a LONG time ago, wouldn't we? So I accept that I will probably always be a bit of a perfectionist, care too much for certain things, and will always cry when criticised.