The Borderline Eyes?

That's just dope - being called a raptor!! An awesome backhanded compliment.
Why do BPD's have wild eyes then? It bothers people when I'm angry, my eye's speak volumes as opposed to my body language, just a stare and someone will shift instantly.
On a nicer note, I guess eyes can suck people into us, we look easy to talk to on the outside, you talk to us and off we go when things get "too close" for comfort. Why is this?!? I don't get the whole, we're approachable but not kinda thing, it baffles me *Question for my therapist tomorrow*

Mörk wrote:Awwh, I once heard after a presentation in class that I "speak well, but, ehr, I'm not quite sure how to say this but... it kinda looks like you're deciding who to eat first. And that's kind of scary." *nervous laugh*
I've also heard I look like the raptors in Jurassic Park...

I got an excellent grade on it - I was one of the six people that got fifty bucks from the superintendent because of our scores - but I guess I stared too much. And hey, I love Jurassic Park.

missehffs wrote: Why do BPD's have wild eyes then? It bothers people when I'm angry, my eye's speak volumes as opposed to my body language, just a stare and someone will shift instantly.
On a nicer note, I guess eyes can suck people into us, we look easy to talk to on the outside, you talk to us and off we go when things get "too close" for comfort. Why is this?!? I don't get the whole, we're approachable but not kinda thing, it baffles me *Question for my therapist tomorrow*

I feel like maybe - and I could be wrong but whatever - it could be the intensity of our emotions or something. It is weird - I've had people who are drawn to me and people who I can just never seem to get to like me. Arghrdigtwn, I wish I had therapy today. I have to wait a week.

Our eyes definitely show our emotions, in letters ten feet high. I remember an ex of mine (back when we were dating) always knew what I was feeling, just from looking at me. She told me to never play poker, because I'd end up either broke or naked. My eyes give me away, every time.

my eyes are looking for the micro expressions on ppl and don't blink as mutch so no to miss annything
borderlines are sepose to have a lot of cold (and hot) empathy 2 right do you watch for micro expressions?

All this constantly deliberately finding out stuff about people or watching for micro expressions people talk about sounds more anally retentive than sociopathic.

Phahaha Anally retentive, love that phrase and I'm giggling wildly!!

katana wrote:All this constantly deliberately finding out stuff about people or watching for micro expressions people talk about sounds more anally retentive than sociopathic.

I'll admit, while never diagnosed as OCD, I do have a tendacy to obsessively analyze everything people to to the point of extreme overanalysis.

motionissue wrote:

katana wrote:All this constantly deliberately finding out stuff about people or watching for micro expressions people talk about sounds more anally retentive than sociopathic.

I'll admit, while never diagnosed as OCD, I do have a tendacy to obsessively analyze everything people to to the point of extreme overanalysis.

I sent a private message to a woman who was struggling with a BPD partner, had to tell her that "the guy who's messaging you seems crazy to me". It seemed ironic at the time.

I think it's on target for BPD people to be caught up in reading facial expressions, trying to find a guide for their daily life. The best quote I read was that a person felt like an anthropologist from Mars, studying the human race as an outsider.

I would not suggest it's a symptom of the better or healthier parts of ourselves, just that if you accept the idea that we tend to externalize our emotional reference points, a fascination with the cues from others around us seems to make sense.

centerpath wrote:

motionissue wrote:

katana wrote:All this constantly deliberately finding out stuff about people or watching for micro expressions people talk about sounds more anally retentive than sociopathic.

I'll admit, while never diagnosed as OCD, I do have a tendacy to obsessively analyze everything people to to the point of extreme overanalysis.

I sent a private message to a woman who was struggling with a BPD partner, had to tell her that "the guy who's messaging you seems crazy to me". It seemed ironic at the time.

I think it's on target for BPD people to be caught up in reading facial expressions, trying to find a guide for their daily life. The best quote I read was that a person felt like an anthropologist from Mars, studying the human race as an outsider.

I would not suggest it's a symptom of the better or healthier parts of ourselves, just that if you accept the idea that we tend to externalize our emotional reference points, a fascination with the cues from others around us seems to make sense.

You saying that alot of it is externalization? When we constantly read into what others are thinking/feeling based on facial characteristics?

motionissue wrote:You saying that alot of it is externalization? When we constantly read into what others are thinking/feeling based on facial characteristics?

I think so. I'm suggesting, using my own experience and how it's been confronted, as a model. To say that a trait in BPD is that due to developmental issues in our early lives we turn to others for reference points for emotional regulation. If that's the case then it makes sense we'd have heightened awareness of facial cues. As well, because we might lack the inner resources to make discreet computations internally, or for other reasons, we tend to display our emotions through our eyes as well as expressions and body language.

I'd self describe as having always worn my heart on my sleeve. Been thin skinned, assumed what others are feeling, expecially negative emotions and anger, are my fault. It's in harmony with how I was raised, made to feel responsible for the projections and emotional immaturity and disregulation of my care givers. I believe that those formative experiences speak directly to my illness. Given what I know I believe my experience isn't unique among BPD's.