How to avoid romance with borderline people ?

@ Chaudement :

- Why on the borderline forum? First reflex to fit an important worry.
- In fact the main motivation was to write it to have a self reflexion, which is done, and I could not really write it just for myself in term of motivation! But I don't really need to have that published permanently.

Best greetings.

I have no idea why you would post this here, but why do we need to know your whole sexual life experiences, and why would you ask diagnosed borderlines how to not get a borderline woman? Your either really stupid, or extremely self-centered and narcissistic.

Thanks, that was quite an interesting read. I missed some but read most.

I think the ancer you seek is in front of you.
You see to need, is diferent from to want.
And everything that you have writtern is from a context of need, and that is an unhealthy
Place to be.
So to not atract unhealthy/hurting people you must 1st get well your self.
Why not try that journey and then see what you want, rather what you need.

I hope this didn't sound condisending, but it is based on what I took from your post.

Sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees, all these things you have catigorized, they are your defence mechanisms
From somthing from your past.
You may not choose to agnolage the posibility of this, and I may be wrong, but find somwere quiet
Find calm, breeth gently and mabe softly think about it.

I didn’t initially respond to this post because something about it really got under my skin. I think the other two posts summed up why. You’re so focused on avoiding relationships with screwed up people that you fail to account for your own mental health.

You consistently choose relationships with sick people. The problem isn’t other people and being tricked into these unhealthy relationships. Rather than putting your focus on others, why not focus on yourself and what you need to do to get well.

Well said agirlbyanothername! I would have responded in that manner, but his post got under my skin too much as well..

I enjoyed the responses here. As a BPD, my sister, a non is in a relationship with a guy with ubpd. She asks me all the time, "what is wrong with me being attracted for a second time?" So if any of you could recommend self work...she wants badly to know what to do to work on herself. She thinks she is somehow flawed but has no idea in what capacity?

Any thoughts?