Did I give my dog bpd?

My therapist tells me that she's just a dog and has an underdeveloped limbic system compared to a human, but I find it very difficult to not anthropomorphize.

My mom had a lot of habits of not being nurturing, going on manic episodes, and just generally being terribly inconsistent and not instilling in me a sense that she was an authority while she was raising me. I look at Lola (my dog), and how I raised her (a lot of inconsistencies, leaving her in the crate instead of taking her out and playing with her when she would cry for too long, not keeping consistent walking/feeding schedules at the same time, and not interacting with her enough), and I wonder if I have just paralleled my mother's mistakes in my dog.

Now, she is phobic of most sounds, very anxious in general, she is very demanding about getting attention, and tries to do a lot of things to please me while simultaneously getting upset and frustrated and arguing with me about things. She is extremely vocal, with her whining, growling, and warbling, and it really breaks my heart because I keep looking at her and seeing everything that I fail at in life embodied in my dog. I want to fix the damage but I don't know where to start. I need to be consistent with her so that she is able to anticipate her food and exercise times and not be so anxious, but how do I do this?

Like your therapist says - dogs can't think about things the way humans can.....but they are sensitive creatures none-the-less.

You said it yourself, you need to be consistent with her. If you are really concerned then there are animal therapists you could try. Just deal with her the way you would deal with a child. Give her lots of positive attention when she does something good (and that includes just not doing something bad). So every time she doesn't whimper/wail etc., give her some attention. Don't ignore her if she sets up a commotion, but make it clear with body language and tone of voice hat you don't want her to behave that way. Then as soon as she settles down, praise her. She will learn what behaviour gets attention. Don't talk on and on at her if she's misbehaving, because that's attention and that's what she's after. She can't understand your words to know that you're telling her to stop.

She doesn't have BPD - she's just confused. A bit of consistency and attention for good behaviour will really make all the difference.

I don't care what they say. Lol.
My dogs are my family, and they both have anxiety disorders.
One is codependent, and one is... well, just hyper and anxious.
They hate when I leave...

They listen to me talk a lot too.
So do my three plants, which all have names.

If you think your dog has a problem, it's best to keep it more general than a personality disorder.
That implies so many things...
But, just love them. Love can solve so much for dogs. I've seen it.
They want so little from us. Lol. Just love... and food. >_> Can't forget food... Lol.

I love my dogs.

Hi

I am replying to this because it made me smile and I am a vet nurse so I thought I might be able to help. Dogs mirror their owners. I am assuming that if you have BPD then you are also experiencing some of the behaviours you describe in your dog. I do not think that you could have caused this in her by the way your brought her up but more that she is reflecting your state of mind. This is about changing you and your dog will naturally follow.

I see this so much where I work. You get these really nervous dogs with these really nervous owners. These aggressive dogs with angry owners and well rounded dogs with well rounded owners. Its a bit like when people say dogs look like their owners.

The good news is that dogs live in the world as it is right now. If you get better so will she. There will be some work to do with specific things like for example the noise phobia. But they are easy to correct with the right training. I would suggest you try a sound phobia CD (you can get these online) that will get your dog used to loud noises eg fireworks and thunder. Always positively reinforce everything. If she does the right thing then praise/ treat. If she does the wrong thing then ignore her. Make sure she gets enough exercise for her age/ breed. Don't suddenly change the rules because she will get confused. For example, if she is not allowed on the sofa, then she is never allowed on - even if you want to cuddle her there one evening. She will not understand the difference.

Good luck with her.

Addy