Father Had BPD

Im new here and I just came to the realization that my father had BPD and I need help. Any sort of input would be greatly appreciated! I have spoken with quite a few people who are educated in BPD, but they really arent helping.
My father passed away due to cancer in 2008, I was in nursing school and working to take care of him at night while my mother took care of him during the day. Basically, my mother, sister, brother and I knew there was something wrong with him. He was always incredibly hurtful to my mother, sister and brother, belittling them and just generally being hateful toward them. They never really got over any of this.
I was born very late in his life (I was a surprise, lol, he was in his early 40's, my mother in her early 30's) and I had always had a good relationship with him. Of course, we would fight, but I always forgave him after the few minutes it took for everything to be okay again. I always explain it to my husband as "we'd fight and scream, then 10 minutes later Id go back downstairs and we were best friends again".
I see a lot of the same characteristics in myself, especially with my husband, although I really do try to relax. I have incredibly bad anxiety and he really does not understand why I think the way I think or why I act the way I do. My father passing away was very hard on me because we became very close. He seemed to have more patience with me and we never really fought during his last year. Has anyone had this experience? Im just so confused. When I try to speak with my family about it they just say "he was older and more calm when you came along", is this the case? Our relationship was much more like a father-child relationship than my older siblings, we bonded and although he still was pretty much the same person, we had a different relationship.
If anyone has any sort of insight or has been in a similar situation, Id be so grateful!

Hi sophiacmg

You really can't diagnose your father with BPD !

Your diagnosis is unfounded... he was hurtful to your mother, sister and brother. So that means he had BPD ?

You have anxiety problems... so do many people. That doesn't mean that you have BPD.

BPD goes a lot deeper than what you describe of your father... go see your doctor and tell him/her about your anxiety problems, but please don't over exaggerate. BPD is not the answer here.