So on edge the last 2 days..

I can't stand this feeling. I had a pretty bad breakdown last night when I had to wait an additional 30 minutes to go to my friend's house. I cried for an hour and fought the self harming thoughts. I have no patience..none. Fu**ing ridiculous. Every time I do this I wonder why and what the point was. Then I hate myself for acting so idiotic.

I am a ticking time bomb right now. Anything could just push me over the edge and cause me to do something stupid. I don't know how to stop this feeling. Usually I buy something... but right now I'm flat broke. I want this terrible feeling to go away and it won't.

The voices are starting to come back. I know they aren't real but I still hear them. They are saying "STOP! STOP IT NOW!!!" over and over. It's so obnoxious. I want them to shut the f**k up and leave me alone!!!

I'm so agitated by all except 2 people. I don't want to feel obligated to answer a question someone asks me or to be polite. I'm not in the mood for BS and I want to be left alone!

How can I make this agitation go away.. UGH just shoot me...

What triggered lillycat?

It was my Mom for sure. Yesterday morning she blew up on me for saying "ugh" & walking away when she told me one of her usual BS lies. I've felt INTENSE anxiety since then & I cannot get rid of the feeling. She triggers me more than anything.