Is it possible to fix a broken relationship during DBT?

I have just broken up with my boyfriend and he ended it not me saying he feels trapped by me, is it possible to fix our relationship like it used to be or will it constantly have this negative feeling? Any insight would help

Hi, Amiileigh! Maybe you could be able to start a new relationship with him when you will be doing better. Focus on yourself and your recovery right now, that is the most important thing and the first step.

it's hard. i'm going thru almost the same thing. me and my ex broke up about 2 1/2 months ago. she ended it because of something i did that was pretty bad (plus we were on a break before that incident) anyway, we're still friends right now but i'm in therapy working on getting help (not diagnosed BPD, but have mostly all the traits). she said she wants to be there for me and help me, still loves me, misses me etc. It is better to get the help you need first before starting the relationship again. give some space for the both of you and work on yourself. I kno its hard and i'm trying to follow this advice as well. i feel almost empty and really abandoned/rejected, do you feel this way too? I dont believe its the end, if you can get help and if there is true love there, then it can be worked out, just have faith and give it the time it needs to heal. Hope this helps!

Hey,
How are things going for you? I'm in similar situation right now too. I'm trying hard to show my boyfriend the
'Good' me and let him remember the good times and how he used to feel about me and see the improvements
I have made. He has been pretty adament we are definitely over and no chance of getting back together but the
only thing that keeps me going is hope that he will see what we could have. If you can consistently show him
improvments and try hard not to let the negatives to resurface in front of him I'm sure it may be possible. How long
were u going out? I worry I forced my boyfriend to stay with me too long when he needed space and then continued
to act in my stupid ways that I have caused any positive feelings he had for me to be gone completely, I hope so badly
That's not the case. Does your boyfriend know you suffer bpd? Has he tried to help before? If so I'd say that's a good
sign that he may be there when you are ready to show him how you have improved.

Certainly anything is possible. My husband and I were on the verge of divorce a couple years ago and we bounced back very well. It helped that we had a good foundation to start with. We had nearly 8 years that were pretty stable and happy before I took a sudden turn for the worse.

I don’t know the nature of your relationship and even if I did I can’t predict the future. I think Jasmin said it best; focus on yourself and your recovery for now. You’re relationship with your ex is out of your control right now. It’s better that you place your attention on something you can work on rather than something that will just eat away at you the more you think about it.

Hi all, thanks for the replies its good to know there are people out there just like me. I have been trying very hard to focus on myself but the anxiety/depression is taking a firm grip on my reality and not letting go i feel so drained getting up every morning. We were together for almost two years and he took me away from an abusive relationship so right from the start i sort of put him on a pedastool, his friends and i never got along as we all attended high school together but were from different cliques so they abandoned him and i constantly relied on him for my own happiness so he split i am not quite sure how to cope and im trying to show him im changing but he has cut off all contact, deleted his facebook and quite possibly changed his mobile number its all quite depressing to me lately as it only started happening last night and im being accused of hacking his accounts i really dont see myself as 'good' but im struggling with my own self image right now.

It sounds like he's a bit paranoid about you, I'm sorry he's treating you this way. You really have to focus on yourself and working through your issues and getting better now, you will be happy some day even if some difficult stuff is ahead.

There is a book called The High Conflict Couple that would help. I think it's written by someone that helped develop DBT. If there was a lot of arguing and conflict in your relationship it could help. I am pretty sure that I could regain my relationship with my ex-girlfriend if I read the book more and practiced the skills. There are practice sections in most or all of the chapters. It's a good book, and worth trying. Even if I don't get my ex-girlfriend back, it would improve the relationship we do have. I still miss being with her, it's been almost 4 years now, and we have a kid together so I have to see her. I want to badly to go back to the happier times we had, and create more happy memories with her now.

Good luck to you. I'm sure the book I mentioned is on amazon.com