you should listen to this song :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmBH08mVR9U

i try to listen to this in different states to remind me that i'll feel different soon.
it doesn't change how i feel, it doesn't make it any better when you're in it but somehow there's a small comfort in knowing that it won't last forever. even if being a million different people in the space of a week is one of the horrible things about having BPD.

i also think the lyrics really fit to BPD.

are there any songs that help you?

you cut her name into your heart, you burn his name into your arm, cast out the pig you kiss as love, heaven is closed for now you are alone
this too, this too shall pass away
this too, this too will pass away (listen, Steven is singing to you)
the pain of life you wipe away, a reason, that fine gray ash shall recall these days
inquire, the serpent to become a rag of a dream, interred
you arrive and you wave as if she could care, but she can't, nor can you
the relinquishing and a flickering out of loss
this too, this too shall pass away
this too, this too shall fade away (listen, Steven is singing to us)
the pain of life you wipe away
perhaps depraved is who you are
why not?
depraved at least you're not alone
overcome by the truth you face that you can't
get up or look up
at the moon
without throwing up and it
stay the same all the time
lie and wait
it stop again like a bee
it will die
when it stings you once
and its small bee's head will fall off
this too, this too shall pass away
this pain will pass away (listen, Steven is singing to you)
the pain of life you wipe away.

*****

I don't know who this steven kid is, but i'm thinking of some component of myself that i can personify, as to avoid having rescue fantasies about the next steven i meet

Hysteric-Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"strange steps, heels turn black"
There is more than one way to live a life. Easy to say, difficult to believe.