My two BPD friends both were defined by this..

The single most glaring trait that BOTH of the BPD's I have known had was they made such a big deal out of things a non BPD would not do so. Nothing is able to be shrugged off. THey amplified everything. As if that were a result of their being invalidated as a child, their thoughts emotions and behaviors suppressed, and now they blast out to the max. Or maybe thats what they did at first as a child, maybe this amplification was always there, and thus not as a result of being invalidated,and the parent couldnt handle it both because they were an invalidating parent but also because it was so extremely amplified even as a child ,just posing the possiility. And these out of proportion reactions , to us nons now,seems so irrational.

Steve

While I can see what you're getting at I think these "all or nothing" reactions might be caused in part by a perceived lack of support and understanding.
Borderline Personality Disorder Information

seanetal wrote:While I can see what you're getting at I think these "all or nothing" reactions might be caused in part by a perceived lack of support and understanding.
Borderline Personality Disorder Information

Seanetal, I wasnt criticizing when I used the words "big deal", or even the words irrational, I was describing the behavior as it is perceied by a non.I accept that behaior , although sometimes its harder for a non than others. Or rather not that its hard for me to accept it ,but more that its just not as rewarding to be around her, but Im even getting better at that now, because I now dont take her rages etc personally, and anyway, she always fluctuates back to being even affectionate within a minute of any rage.

Stee

Yes, Lockett, I can't deny it. That's the way it is with me. I react to small things. (obviously, they aren't small to us). Often it's the things that bother normies that don't bother me. It's the other stuff that does. Weird huh.