Is my Ex Fiance a BPD?

I am a Pacific Islander and I was engaged to an American guy I met online in a dating site. He proposed marriage to me four days after we first talk which I said no of course. We remained friends though, and we were still chatting. Then he told me he proposed to an 18 year old lady from my country too, who said yes. He bought a wedding ring, a plane ticket and send the lady money to prepare for the wedding which would happen two months later. After a month or so he called off the wedding. But still he went over here and met me and many other girls instead. We had good time together, and yes at 28 he was my first kiss.

When he came back to his country, we continued chatting and after a month he proposed. I said yes this time. I have really been missing him. So after 7 more months of chatting, I went to US. But we had experience a lot of problems. He blocked me off Skype suddenly without an explanation when I told him I want an identical wedding ring (btw, he wanted to use the wedding ring he bought). I emailed him, and he did reply, I am not the woman he's looking for. So I tried to explain and we made up. There been a lot of times he would block me off for petty things like he thought I'm bitching at him because I told him he couldnt even say hi.

So anyway, I made it to US. First week was great and he told me I'm a great woman. But as days passed he's becoming distant, so it makes me sad. About my fifth we ek there he emailed me if I like to go home as I have been crying and I said no. I just said I wanted us to be closer, and more sex. We were ok that day until the night we went to bed, I've been suggesting we do something but he got really mad. So he got my luggage and told me to pack. The next day he got me my plane ticket, and almost dragged me to the airport, He's been telling me I am not the right woman for him. That I'm like this and that, and he doesnt find me sexy. So anyway, I'm back to my country. (About idealizing and devaluing)

Anyway, a brief overview with my ex as per his stories to me. He had 18 jobs for the last 15 years. He's a brilliant programmer, but always get into trouble at work. The last one was telling a coworker "you pissed me off" which was escalated to the execs.Well he wasnt fired though. He also get into unnecessary arguments with the others. He even had a job he only worked for 2 days then he would quit. (Can't control anger)

He also admitted having the black and white personality. When I failed to met his expectations of what his ideal woman is he got rid of me. Without any explanations. He would quit work when he doesn't like something about it.

He also had spending habits. He bought a friend an expensive laptop on his first salary on his new job after being jobless for few months. He bought expensive mattress when he knew we should be saving for the wedding. Among other things.

And I believe he became alcoholic at some point. And he also told me about committing/attempting suicide twice when his ex gf a long time ago broke up with him.

And he hates his parents and brother.

I don't see any cut marks though or whatever. But I am just thinking if he may be suffering from BPD as that attitude of asking someone for marriage too abruptly and calling it off in a matter of a month is kinda not normal.

Sorry for such a long article, hope somebody would read it though and give me useful feedback.

Hi, Miss Ex! You're right, his behavior doesn't seem normal at all. He might have some control issues and he thought you were someone he could easily control, because you're not from the US or whatever. We can't tell you for sure if he's BPD. It does sound like he's emotionally abusive. You're lucky to be away from him, in my opinion.

Thanks Miss Jasmin.. Yah I think I'm lucky I did not marry him. I think he's just a control freak and not really suffering a BPD.

You're wiser now and you can put your life back together This kind of thing happens to lots of people.