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caty wrote:Hi,

Wondering how you are doing/coping with the pressure of a stressful full time job ? Especially if you are doing office, IT jobs ... focus on computer all day... keeping in mind targets, quality etc.

Pretending to be normal is no easy feat in life, but it can be accomplished to attain x, y, and z goals and artifices. I wear that facade or that persona rather perfectly. The rage I feel is all inward. I did not wish to harm anyone except for myself. So it is increasingly difficult to toil about when you know that any day now I could just fade to black and no one would be the wiser.

jj

As a result of BPD illness i've already changed some 25 jobs in last 10 years.
I can't stay interested in one job longer than 1 month.
After that period I start to get bored and disgusted by work.
I just can't force myself to work.

Does anybody else with BPD have the same problem?

I’m one of those people who are always moments away from snapping, but just end up quietly sobbing in my cubicle instead. I’m easily stressed when it comes to learning a new job or being micro-managed. Right now I work in a call center, so you can imagine how utterly frustrating that can be.

I’m not sure what to make of my rage. It has almost always been self-directed and influenced by a strong self-loathing. Yet I have always had a lot of violent ideation and obsessive anger towards other people. As much as I fantasize about hurting or lashing out at others, I very rarely do. I crumble at the slightest confrontation and feel very uncomfortable afterwards.

I suppose in that regard my excessive shyness and fear of embarrassment are a blessing in disguise. They prevent me from going postal and digging myself a much deeper hole than I might have otherwise.

agirlbyanyothername wrote:I’m one of those people who are always moments away from snapping, but just end up quietly sobbing in my cubicle instead. I’m easily stressed when it comes to learning a new job or being micro-managed. Right now I work in a call center, so you can imagine how utterly frustrating that can be.

I’m not sure what to make of my rage. It has almost always been self-directed and influenced by a strong self-loathing. Yet I have always had a lot of violent ideation and obsessive anger towards other people. As much as I fantasize about hurting or lashing out at others, I very rarely do. I crumble at the slightest confrontation and feel very uncomfortable afterwards.

I suppose in that regard my excessive shyness and fear of embarrassment are a blessing in disguise. They prevent me from going postal and digging myself a much deeper hole than I might have otherwise.

You sound a lot like me. I do verbally lash out at people sometimes, though.

How am I coping with a job? I'm not because I haven't been able to hold a job because of my mental illnesses. I do get bored easily with a lot of things, so I can relate to that.

Uhm, I have been unemployed for some time now. I hate it. I also have social anxiety so it has prevented me from daring to enter any workplace! I had a job at the start of the year and I got bullied - this really made my borderline symptoms spiral and It was soon after that I got diagnosed.

On a couple of occasions I broke down (embarrassing), I am not sure if this was anxiety or bpd or high stress from the coworkers picking on me.

One day I will get on top of this and find a job I love. I think I am best suited for freelance work because I work better on my own - other people agitate me. And most of all, I have to do something I am passionate about.

As far as getting bored of work easily? Hasn't really applied to me as study has been the only world I've known and it is only this year that I have entered the workplace.

All the best to you all! You will find something you love and look forward to every day you wake up!