Ill person or bad person?

I dated a girl with bpd for 2 years, and tried SO hard to convince myself she was a good person, but I just can't do it anymore. This girl wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other stoires you hear, and she is high functioning, but she was still selfish, manipulative, and down right evil at times. You probably know exactly what I'm talking about so no further explanation is needed-- but what do you think?

maybe she wasnt a bad person, maybe she was, some people can't control it. i mean they can work towards control. they may change they may not, you never know. you either stick it out or dont, just dont blame yourself or her, forgive and try to forget the bad. if she could be nice perhaps she is actually a good person.

she can be VERY nice, but also VERY mean-- which one is her? The million dollar question was always if she actually knew what she was doing during the times she messed up so badly. The thing is, she repeated the same mistakes a lot, and many times would get defensive and defend herself. I scratch my head about this too much...

They are both her.

She is nice when you comply, and mean when you don't.
She might think of you in the same way you may think of a puppy.

These types of girls require extreme supervision, so either start being an assholes (which is the only thing she'll respect) or move on.

You make a great point, I think her other boyfriends had less trouble with her because they were so mean to her at times, and I was a total softie. Then again, she is so sensitive that being nasty toward her really does scary her away too. It's an interesting dilemma.

mc693 wrote:You make a great point, I think her other boyfriends had less trouble with her because they were so mean to her at times, and I was a total softie. Then again, she is so sensitive that being nasty toward her really does scary her away too. It's an interesting dilemma.

Don't walk, run.
Break up with her in the nicest way you can possibly imagine and find another girl not this profoundly damaged.

P.S http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hsOSC6RVhk

i think some of the things the guy above me have posted are a little harsh, the thing is that if she has been damaged things can be worked through, though she has to realise what she has in you, being one of the bad guys to her will just damage her more. you dont need to just give up on her. but if it hurts so much, then leave her but be a friend and help her. i know things i say may be a bit crappy and im sorry i was on the girl sid of a relationship like yours, but now i feel a lot more normal, i freak out sometimes but only a little compared to what i was like but my ex left me and told me he hated me and never wanted to talk to me again and i was so so hurt by this. i attempted suicide and my hair fell out, i stopped eating etc. though he did basically cheat on me and then dump me for a new girl and then she was horrible to me. but yeah. i think i've rambled ^^;