Is there something appealing about a narcissistic person

with BPD? I'm not in the medical field nor I have I seen the records, psychiatric and otherwise of the person I'm guessing has npd/bpd, something like that. Input would be appreciated.


I have worked with the company I'm at for 2 years now and have seen and briefly worked with a girl that I thought was a bit irritating. These past 2 weeks, I have been working along side her everyday and have really gotten to see her in action and have seen frequent displays of compulsive lying and narcissism(are they related btw?). Just about everything that comes out of her mouth is a statement about herself-- her experiences(true or not), what she feels, what she thinks, what she knows(or believes she knows). She also likes to give orders and speak to people in a condescending, but high pitched and juvenile way.
What I dont get is that I have this other coworker thats pretty normal and he and my boss put her on a weird sexual, but infantile pedestal. It's really very weird and I'd actually like to get some of their interactions on camera--truly a sight to see. Mind you, my otherwise seemingly normal coworker doesn't act that strange way around any other women--even women he states he is is attracted to.

Examples of her lying and narcissism:

1. She claims that her husband owns a company and she is comfortable and that she is so comfortable that she gives all her earnings to her mother.
2. One day, she told me I looked wonderful, 15 minutes later, she said I looked awful---I didn't ask either time.;
3. She claims that her sister is a doctor and owes hundreds of thousands of dollars, from a loan her sister supposedly got from a bank for school. When I asked which college her sister attained her MD at, she said at a local community college
4. This really weird example that just happened today--I was talking to this other lady that I work with, we were talking about recent travels, she said how she even had to pay $300 for an infant to travel to the Philippines. The narcissistic coworker butted in and said "Oh, I've traveled further and I didnt have to pay anything. I just kept the baby in my lap". Both me and the coworker I was talking to before she inserted her lies looked at each other like WTF. She interrupts and lies constantly, everyday. I mean we all tell white lies everyday, but not like these


IMO, physically, she is also nothing spectacular. 1-10 aesthetics, IMO, maybe a 6. She's also under 5 ft tall--that could be a turn on to some.

What I'd like to know is how some can find such narcissism appealing. Whenever my otherwise normal male coworker is around her, he acts strange--hard to put into words. Just as whenever my boss is around her, it's REALLY strange, like a dirty stepfather with a just came of age girl kind of thing.

WTF?

Answered in the NPD forum:
post343614.html#p343614

--Frayed

Also, why on Earth would you get the idea to videotape them without their consent? That's both illegal and offensive.

I'm afraid that you might have more issues than they do.

And I definitely don't appreciate you attributing all this to EITHER BPD or NPD.

--Frayed

FrayedEndOfSanity wrote:Also, why on Earth would you get the idea to videotape them without their consent? That's both illegal and offensive.

I'm afraid that you might have more issues than they do.

And I definitely don't appreciate you attributing all this to EITHER BPD or NPD.

--Frayed

This.

I also don't see many symptoms of anything other than her being an annoying person.

I said I would LOVE to--I'd also love to climb mount everest. What is your problem with me?
I posted a Q about some behaviors in a psy forum and you go on and on and on about me---like you said I did about the infantile girl in my work environment. If you dont want to keep on the topic of the original post, why even post? Just want to be bitchy?
I obviously hit a sore spot of yours, you're extremely defensive and doing to me what you criticize me for doing.
I just find her infantile behaviors strange and sexualizing on the job isnt right, or is it in your book?

Fray, I didn't diagnose her, I said I GUESS.
Even if i was more troubled than her, all I did her was post about what something I found odd in a forum I thought was related what I thought. You were rude off the bat to me and say that you believe I'm more disturbed than she is. Is that how you're professional and helpful in the mental health field that you claim to be in?

Well, yes. I can't hear your tone of voice; you can't hear mine. What I saw was this:

It's really very weird and I'd actually like to get some of their interactions on camera--truly a sight to see.

By itself, this sounds like an intent to invade privacy. For all I knew at the time of your post, you might have posted it on YouTube.

I'm not advocating their behavior. My reaction is mostly to the phrasing of your post. Had you come out and said, "these people are making me uncomfortable and are creating a hostile work environment," I would have advocated that you contact HR. But since you chose to make light of the situation and painted your co-workers with a freaky brush, the comments that you received are perfectly in line with the nature of your post.

+++++++++++++++++

Anyway, I've had a cup of coffee, so I'm a bit more awake. Sorry if I came off as abrasive. Your post sounded way too much like an actual intent.

If this truly IS creating a hostile work environment, for you, then it is your decision to appeal to HR. To avoid conflict, drama and backlash, I don't think that you should apply on someone else's behalf unless you speak with them first and get their consent.

However, please don't diagnose these folks. That is something that truly offends me, even though you prefaced it with a sort of disclaimer. The reason for this is I'm very protective of the folks on this forum, and to hear that someone engaging in inappropriate behavior immediately sparks a personality disorder label is offensive.

I hope that I have explained myself better this time around. And I agree--the dynamic is certainly weird.

--Frayed

LOL you have 25000 clients
I see psychforums has 25000 members. You dont have a degree in psy. You are obviously disturbed...excusing your rudeness because of one line I typed. You should come to peace with your BPD and dont worry, I wont take what the "couselor" here said seriously.

myPFusername wrote:LOL you have 25000 clients
I see psychforums has 25000 members. You dont have a degree in psy. You are obviously disturbed...excusing your rudeness because of one line I typed. You should come to peace with your BPD and dont worry, I wont take what the "couselor" here said seriously.

I don't see how Frayed sounds disturbed and she came to peace long ago, which is more than I can say for whatever YOU have. Do NOT come here and insult someone- ESPECIALLY after they've even apologized!- just because you don't like their answer. Grow up or get off the forum.

myPFusername,

I got a wonderful, restful night's sleep, and I went over my posts to you, line-by-line.

I see absolutely nowhere that I was rude to you. I was matter-of-fact and didn't sugarcoat things, which is often misconstrued as rude. I didn't call you disturbed, I said it was possible that you have more issues that your co-workers do. (You translated that as "disturbed".) I don't judge anyone based on their issues, though. Had you posted the videotaping of your co-workers under the paraphilias forum (voyeurism), you would have received a slightly different response. Other than that, it's morbid curiosity, like filming a literal train wreck.

Speaking of filming, I apologize for assuming something rather than asking for your intention. I assure you, it has happened with my colleagues, too. Yes, I actually have a degree in psychology. However, for the purposes of this forum, I don't claim to be a trained therapist. My role here is one of a moderator. I did not say I had 25,000 clients. I clearly stated that I help run a site which has 25,000 members. My posts remain unedited (except for one correction of a double-negative; grammar). So I'm not sure where you got the idea that I was calling you disturbed, or that I claimed these folks as clients.

To be honest, I said exactly the same thing as maria--except that she put it into different words and phrased things in a way that are more palatable to you. Since you have only been lashing out at me and not at other members, I'm going to let you off the hook on this one. That's often what I'm here for--letting people blow off some steam. However, if you ever talk this way to other forum members, or if you continue to be rude to me, I will not be holding back disciplinary actions.

If you have an issue with me, you are more than welcome to file a complaint with one of the site administrators. They're kind of like my "managers" if this were a physical workplace. It might be a good way for you to practice filing a complaint to HR.

Take care,

--Frayed