Me vs Mom Adult version

I just got a call from my mom.... went like this,

Mom: how have you been?

Me: Alright, kind of going crazy since losing my job and going off my medicine.

Mom: Well it's my fault.

Me: What are you talking about?

Mom: You told me so.

Me: Are you really going to use that against me?

Mom: Well...

Me: I love you. Bye.
Then text...

Mom: u really have no clue of everything i did for our family and the things I endured but u r the one thing i am the most proud of and love the most

Me: Endured? Whatever mom we all have things we need to endure. I've been through a lot too and you haven't been there for me no mater howmuch you love me. I understand you go through things mom, that is why i was trying to talk to you about getting help too.

Mom: like i said u dont have a clue..blame me if it makes it easier

Me:I wasn't blaming you mom! You cry all the time and you threatened to run off and leave. You are sad and i wanted to ######6 helpbut you won't listen to me. You keep saying I don't know anything but you won't tell me anything.

Mom: I love you Aja, nothing else matters.

Before...

I tried to have a discussion with my mom about Borderline Personality Disorder. She knows I have it. She had me tested for it. It's also proven that its genetic and now that I am older and have learned I can tell she has it too. I tried to talk to her about it because she shows major signs... and I see her hurting. I didn't accuse in that conversation before, just tried to give her suggestions, talk to her. She blew me off. A month or so ago she told me she was packing her bags and leaving somewhere and that she loves me through a text message. I've had a lot of mother issues through the last 15 years. If not I'm not going to get into it. I've realized she is one of my triggers when she is upset and being borderline myself I just can't cope. How do I do this?

How about a text back: love you too mom.↲

The thing is that you are only responsible for yourself. It is your job to stand on your feet and look after yourself. My mother shows traits too. I will probably never broach the subject with her. I have to look after my own recovery. Here is nothing to be gained from looking back. You can be supportive of her, but dont expect her to change. I see traits in lots of people since being diagnosed. Then it occurred to me that everybody has "borderline" moments. It is not so much the actions that define our condition as the intensity and frequency over sustained periods of time.↲the more i learn about myself and the condition the easier it is to accept other people. In those texts your mother said that she loves you and that she is proud of you. Concentrate on that. The poor me routine that went with it says to me that she is just looking for validation. "i love you too" does that. You are not getting the support you are looking from from her. Been there with my own mother. Every child craves the support and approval of a parent. Sometimes it just does not happen though. Validate yourself. Losing a job is tough. I have lost count of how many i have been through. Prick up, dust off and get back in the ring. Look at why you lost your job and come up with alternative ways of dealing with the situation in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation. Why did you come off your meds? Sorry, i am not sounding very sympathetic. I actually am though. That must have hurt. You can not control other people though. If your mom is not ready or willing to look at herself then that is just how it is and you will have to accept that. You tried. Now concentrate on getting your own life back on track.

But what if saying "I love you too" doesn't feel honest or true? It just becomes banal and void of meaning, when exactly the opposite is what should be intended. I appreciate what people are saying here though. When I describe my mother to others, I often say "She's a hard act to follow."