Do I have BPD?

Just looking for help...

Grew up in an abusive home. My father was verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. My mother became terminally ill when I was 14. My older sibling moved 1500 miles away and cut contact with the family when I was 16. My boyfriend is cheating on me, and according to everyone it's an abusive relationship. I believe the bad moments in the relationship are my fault. But...I believe that your past doesn't have to control your present.

So, here are my issues now:
- I get jealous.
- I fear that my boyfriend is always going to leave me.
- I am always worried that my life is going to fall apart. I never count on anything, because I *know* it will fall through. I am always living in fear.
- I have threatened suicide (never been serious about it...I'm sorry, I know that is horrible. No disrespect to the people who have actually followed through).
- I get very emotional, say things I don't mean, then immediately feel bad for saying those things.
- I have had anorexia. I still struggle sometimes.
- I have OCD, as well.
- I feel guilty and at fault for everything.

Is this BPD? Or, do I have something else wrong?

I don't think what you've put forward is Borderline. I do suggest some special counselling for you to help resolve your issues from your childhood. This is not uncommon and should be immensely helpful for you.

Hey, seaglass! Maybe it would be better if you stayed away from people who hurt you. It's not your fault your boyfriend cheats on you or hurts you. You've been through a lot and you don't deserve to have anything bad happen to you.
You have this forum now and there will be someone here to listen when you need it.