I never found out if i have BPD

Hi, this is my first post, so i apologize if i make any mistakes!!

SO, it started last year when I gotten a therapist due to me becoming more suicidal. This therapist during our first appointment reviewed things with me, then I believe.. screened me for BPD? I believe I'm suffering from symptoms, but was never fully confirmed on a DX. They had said I was probably suffering from it/may have symptoms.
During this time frame, my mother had gotten more religious, forcing the Bible on the household, just for some background, I do not have a good relationship with this, but it's a separate story LOL . My mother confessed her paranoia about my current partner and I, which caused a "CPS case," to this day, I really don't know if its active anymore. She might've lied, but again, another story lol. Due to her paranoia, I kind of get influenced easy, so due to me being scared that the therapist would do something incorrect/deepen the case (on my mother's words), i quit.

I don't really know how to go about this, it's a big deal on my part lol and it makes me question a lot. Any help on figuring it out?

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Personality disorders are not something that can be diagnosed in a single session. It usually takes some months of your therapist/doctor being able to observe you and your reactions to see that your symptoms are a consistent pattern over time, and not just a short term reaction to some kind of stress in your life. They are also not often diagnosed in people under 18, because it's not considered that their personality has fully formed yet.

My therapist flagged a "possible personality disorder" in his notes the first time he met me, and told me about six months later when a psychiatrist had told me similar that he had noted that. We did come to the conclusion later that I had AvPD, with some borderline/dependent traits too. But it was probably 12 months or so down the track before he gave me an answer on it and it became part of my diagnosis.

It sounds like you're trying to deal with an awful lot there. I know I did a lot of questioning before my diagnosis too. Going "yes, I think this fits". Feel free to have a poke around the forum or even other forums here too and see if what other people have said about their experience resonates with you. You don't have to have a diagnosis to join in. In the early stages, I just found that finding other people's experiences being similar to mine was the most helpful thing to me at the time.

Are you still working with the therapist? Have you asked them what they think is going on for you?