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lost 4th job due to personality diosorder

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lost 4th job due to personality diosorder

Postby frozensun » Sun May 07, 2023 1:05 pm

Tomorrow I am loosing my gth job due to this damn illness comorbid with chronic insomnia since 2016, and the worse part is that I don't even ######6 care.
I feel so agressive,and mad,and at same time would like to cry from depression.
I never had not even single day of psychotherapy due to that we live in poor country (Bosnia).
And finding a decent good job here is like finding a needle in a haystack.
The worse ppart is that it was a setup caLculated made from a executive director to loose my job and to put a person which is a cousin of her to my job place.
I feel that jf I see her tomorrow I could strangle her alive.
I am 44,and this was my 4th job,which luckly I kept 12 years, but all it gave me is anxiety,sickness,depression,and 4 of my colleuges escaped from company because they threat us like sh..t and sallary is low as it might be.
Few months back I really don't feel I could work anything, because each day I feel severe depression due to even with meds I manage to sleep 4-5 hours for months-years and I don't really have patience,nerves to work anything at this moment,and I don't care loosing a job and at same time I know I will fell in bigger severe depression because I am really workoholic and don't like to lay on bed all day long.
My prognosis is poor I have mixture of more personaliry disorders mostly avoidant and borderline.
If anyone feels the same as I do please write and how did you manage to escape from this condition.
I live with 2 sick parents who threat me like $#%^,and at same time loosing a job woud mean a huge fauilure in my life or maybe bring a new begining to my life.
I know what job I would like to do,but from that knowledge I can not live here nor that knowledge in needed here.
frozensun
Consumer 3
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