Hypersexuality.

You all can call me Eli

Im a 16 year old diagnosed boy, and my life has already gone to $#%^. I feel trapped in the three letter word "bpd". ive been hospitalized. i hardly recovered and im still sick. dad wont take me in, nor will mom. they only care about money. (i am safe, they wont hurt me) all i do anymore is talk to others in the online world, its easy to lie and keep people from leaving you there. but im constanly in a state of hypersexuality. its such a ruining trait that comes along with this mental illness. its all i can think abt ever. it ruins relationships and then ill try to use provocative favors to win them back. i dont know how to cope. can someone help?

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

Well you're a sixteen year old young man, so.... you've already got that to deal with- try and remember that to some degree you're going to be fixated on sex, because biology. I've no doubt the BPD makes it worse, but I... don't remember myself, or any of my peers, not being pretty charged, sexually speaking, during the teen years. Maybe someone has a tip on keeping it to a dull roar; but I wouldn't expect it all to go away, because part of that is just normal, to me.

You sound like you're going through a rough time and I'm sorry for that. i wonder is there anyone you could reach out to in the real world you could talk to. I hear what you say about your parents but perhaps there are support groups around that might help. I am in the UK and we have several mental health charities that can and do help, some even have their own doctors you could speak to. If you're in school perhaps there is a counsellor you could speak to, maybe not about everything but they might know where to refer you if you don't want to involve your parents.

The hypersexuality thing. As Snaga pointed out that isn't terribly unusual in teenage boys. All that testosterone and other changes going on. I'm female by the way. But it just might be that those issues are more an age thing than a BPD thing. And also very normal. I remember reading once that men think about sex every 7 seconds. Whcih isn't quite true (the 7 second thing) but a man it seems is programmed to think about it much more frequently than women do. Again biology.

Obviously that doesn't help you but perhaps knowing that actually a lot of what you're feeling could just be down to age and biology will ease your mind a little.

Oh and for the record, I'm biologically male, Magari.

Remember Ronni wrote:Which isn't quite true (the 7 second thing)

Sure feels like it, at times. Can't decide if being old makes it sad, or is a blessing, that I don't think about sex as often. Both maybe. All I know is that as a teen, I was not the kind to do anything overtly sexual with other people- I mean I wasn't always trying to have sex with others- but that is because of my personality and anxiety issues- the 'want to' was there, and I think I have BPD tendencies (without being BPD itself) and I was groomed for a little while by a pederast- so even though you might not have noticed it on the outside, inside I was a wound-up little bundle of angsty sexual need from about 12 or 13 on, and only age has dulled the ache. Some of my sexuality is probably pathological, but I'm pretty sure males are horndogs in general. I don't know too many guys that don't care for sex. So.... having BPD and any potential hypersexuality on top of that, is gasoline on a fire that's already burning- but if you can, yes, what Ronni said- talk to someone. A lot of this may just be being 16. You're still on the upslope to your sexual peak, biologically speaking, and them hormones be flowing.

I can see that, but i dont truly think its just usual. the other boys my age are sexual creatures, and it is normal nature but its begining to ruin friendships ya-kno? which in the little bit of theray i had, we discussed hypsersexuality and bpd, im a very sexual person and i use it to appeal to others in a way? it just feels like i can ground someone closer to me if i do. on top of that im a csa survivor and i have adhd, so it all just fans the flames or an ungodly sex drive. its a strange relationship to say the least, and i worry that its going to end up discomforting my favorite person, who atm is my boyfriend louis. its a mess haha

Not saying it's all just normal- just that it's going to be normal to think about it a good bit.

The CSA well I can see that being a factor, sure. I know my grooming revved me up.

i dont think men think about sex more than women. its just more acceptable in society for men to talk and discuss about sex than women. teenager boys discuss about masturbation and porn all the time. in fact it's expected than they will discuss this stuff.

whereas among girls idk its yet acceptable or as much open as among boys.

csa + bpd + 16--- i guess hypersexuality would be there. i was very very sexual (in my 20s though). my sex drive was insane. i recommend therapy. what i dont recommend is acting on the sexual urges.

a right therapist can help you out. it took me a year and half of therapy to be remotely okay with myself and deal with the urges.

jaus tail wrote:i dont think men think about sex more than women. its just more acceptable in society for men to talk and discuss about sex than women. teenager boys discuss about masturbation and porn all the time. in fact it's expected than they will discuss this stuff.

whereas among girls idk its yet acceptable or as much open as among boys

I don't know if bio women think about sex more than the male of the species, or not. But I think sex talk between girls is at least as tawdry, in its own way, if not more. At least among the women I know. They trade notes- in fact I'd say they trade notes more than men, when it comes to their partners.

I just like to add you should get a girl to engage with, since your body is asking for sex. Don't ignore the body or you get sad or even depressed. Satisfying your body needs will make you feel good and function better. Masturbating is tenting but you can't really fool the body, you may get problems if you abuse masturbation. Focus on getting a girl in your room, and care about her, find someone you like..

16 years old, not living at home- I'm not sure I'd recommend anything that could get the young man in trouble....