i hate my mom

that authoritarian woman ruined my life completely. i would beg her i dont want to go to my abuser's place, plead with her... but she never listened... crazy woman... she just always ignored me n emotionally blackmailed me n sweetly said, 'wont you do it for me...' n look the other way...

it was like she wasnt capable of listening to a 'no'.

sure she had reasons for her behavior. but this is insane... i just cant forgive her for that...

You don't need to forgive her.

I was in a comparative position with my mother who put me on the path of two abusers and added herself as number three.

The person she was back then was not my mother. I never ever thought I would forgive her. My brother never has. But she got herself out of the entanglement that was causing her behaviour to be out of control, went on meds, went through treatment and has gotten better. That alone would give her no reason to be forgiven by me but she went on to try to make amends whenever she was given the opportunity and now I speak to her daily.

Long story short, there is a scenario where you could forgive her but if she doesn't put in her side, you don't have to. Cut that out of your life and focus on what you have now.

Sincerely,

Icutmymotheroutofmylifewithfouryearsnocontactandwoulddoitagain.

thanks for this. i do live away from her but am fed up of her daily texts. i dont call her. she herself calls n puts on a sorry voice saying, 'i want to come and live with you.'

i just give the excuse of lockdown. how do i tell her not to text me every day?

It depends. Why does she want to come live with you?

I would outright just block her number if it's that bad. You have that right as an adult. But I would make it clear as to why I was doing it.

But, yeah. Cut out the manipulation.

It depends. Why does she want to come live with you?

in her mind she thinks she was an ideal mom. that there are no issues. when i say she was like this in the past, she says, 'ur always stuck in the past. live in the present.'

she's a single mom so that is there. if my dad hadnt passed away, i wouldnt feel so guilt.

I would outright just block her number if it's that bad. You have that right as an adult. But I would make it clear as to why I was doing it.

at times i feel bad for her. i mean she had her own issues. her parents and siblings were terrible. she only has so many years left. but theres no way i can live with her.

But, yeah. Cut out the manipulation.

something she's been doing for years. i feel guilty for abandoning her. i wish she would start living her own life without me as a part of it.

I don't know your situation, so I can't help you further but I would have an open assertive dialogue, address the issues and move on from there.

yes. i'm tired of blaming and not taking action. but at times it looks so convenient to blame others for our misfortunes.