dont care about empathy

my therapist said i have empathy n emotional intelligence, but i honestly dont care. if i could go back in time, i'd rather be an arrogant person who laughs at mental illness, mocks them... n be free... rather than someone who's struggling to cope with regrets because of impulsive decision...
rather than someone who's a pushover, trying to please others all the time...

there are no advantages to bpd. it's just feeling good about yourself...