Internally Unstable Relationships?

Hi all,

I highly suspect I have BPD. I'm hopefully getting a proper diagnoses of whatever is wrong in a couple months, and I have a question.

So one of the criteria for BPD is "unstable relationships", and whenever I'm asked if my relationships are unstable I'm not sure what to answer. Having an outside opinion would be really helpful.

A lot of my relationships, I finally noticed, tend to be very intense inside my own head, to a point where I'm doing things like convincing myself the person is hurt (with no sound reasoning), or screaming at the universe alone in my room. I get very attached to these people, I always noticed that. Some people I get sick of and don't want to deal with, then after a while it's okay again. This person I always seemed to really love and care for.

In romance in a relationship, I'm looking for a soulmate, someone who will be there, so I fall for people really really intensely or barely at all and they rather annoy me. I haven't had many relationships in the past, only dated 2 people, fallen in love or what I thought was love multiple times.
TW SI mention

I had a relationship with one girl that was basically centered around mental illness and romanticization and suicidal threats. It was awful but that was my first "relationship" (which I don't like to call actually dating).

TW over

What does this sound like? Is it normal to love someone to pieces then get sick of them and not want to deal with their stuff then fall in love all over again? Since I recognized these behaviors, it makes me feel like a garbage person. Should I have known this by now? Could this be related to something else?

Thanks guys <3

i used to be very attached to my friends. it was in my 20s. i'd act like a lost puppy n dream of my friends to take care of me, look after me. like i actually would imagine scenarios where they're looking after me. now i realize it can get annoying for the other person.

therapy helped me a lot. the therapist said it's regression where the person acts like a child. the mind reverts to childhood behavior cause the stress is too much. i'm 30 now n have no urge to act like a lost puppy.

i strongly recommend therapy. the need for constant attention made me make some bad set of friends n terrible choices. all for just a squirt of attention.

I wouldn't jump to too many conclusions yet. This is only one of the criteria. Plus plenty of "normal" people have unstable relationships. It doesn't mean they're suffering any sort of mental health issue.

When you first meet someone, you can get swept up with it all. You don't know them yet. But they're just perfect. Spend a bit more time with them, get to know them, and it isn't uncommon at all to realise the girl of yours is actually a basket case, or talks too much, or nags or is too clingy. I could go on but you get the picture. That is all perfectly normal.

If you have a read through this forum you will probably get a clue as to how an unstable BPD relationship looks.