BPD - no help from CMHT/Counsellor/Doctors

I'm new to this site, I'm new to believing i have BPD so bare with me.
In a nutshell i have manic depression/anxiety and have been in counselling for years, i show nearly all the symptoms of BPD and my doctor, referred me to CMHT 4 times and each time they reject me, my counsellor says i'm too 'risky' for her help and my doctor doesn't know what to do.

i cycle through suicidal thoughts/actions/attempts, self harm, and intrusive thoughts, i'm in clear need of some kind of help and i feel like no one is taking me seriously,

i'm here to ask if anyone has any helpful guidance or advice, my Iapt is Italk, and CMHT is the only (other than acute) mental health team.

i dont know what to do, i've been asking for help for so long and getting nothing time after time,

this forum helped me a lot. i mean venting here helped. hope it helps you too.

are there specific triggers for anxiety, depression? with me i know when i;m with group of people i feel anxious, so i avoid hanging out with people and i've told a few friends of my mental illness. theyre ok with it.

I relate to this a lot. I was diagnosed 7 years ago with borderline personality disorder and I never really received treatment.

Unfortuately, in my experience, doctors and clinical psychologists etc. stigmatise this disorder. There isn't much understanding of it and there is a lot of judgment and dismissal.

I have gone my own way in regards to getting help, from my own spiritual work and working with more left-field kind of psychologists who specialise in trauma-informed therapies and have a personal understanding of this kind of stuff, from their work through their own pain.

I don't go to general doctors or psychologists - my opinion - they don't know $#%^. And their ignorance to these kind of disorders just triggers me more.

I struggled with self-harm for 13 years, and addictive behaviours from my impulsivity and difficulties managing my emotions. I had a pattern of very unstable relationships and issues with rage and anger.

I did undergo DBT treatment outside of my home country - which I paid a lot of money for. It was helpful in some respects, but again, I don't think it really tackled the root of my issues.

BPD is a response to childhood traumas and often dysfunctional family environments growing up. So we really have to unlearn everything we have learnt growing up.

I found help in 12-step fellowship. This, for me, has saved my life. It has helped me get to the real deeper underlying issues of addictive behaviours that co-incided with my BPD diagnosis.

I have also practiced meditation and Buddhist practice over the last 4 years, which again, has significantly changed my life.

These are just suggestions that I know have helped me.

I know finding a good therapist who really understands this stuff is difficult within the mainstream field of psychologists - so broaden your search. And check out lists of 12-step programs that you may relate to. There are many, for all types of impulsive behaviour, including self-harm. There you will find support, a community and the voice to share honestly with others who get it. And it's free.

My advice to you - find your own path of healing. Alternative more holistic approaches.

If you want to learn more about my experiences and what has helped me have a look here: *mod edit*

There may be some stuff here that can help you. I hope so.

It's really hard trying to live with these kind of struggles. I have struggled for so many years without the help that I need. But keep looking - there is a way out. You just have to find it.

I wish you well and stay connected - that's the best advice I can give.