Suddenly losing empathy?

Hi all! I'm Evan.

I currently do not have an official diagnoses, but I strongly suspect (and so do other medical professionals) that I have BPD, or traits of. That being said I have a question.

It feels like I've generally lost my empathy and strong emotions. I used to have the strongest feelings, that gave me pain in my chest and felt horribly intense. A couple months ago, I don't remember exactly what happened, I think something small, it's like it all just turned off. Only recently has it started coming back in the form of a daily episode of intense mood swings. I still lack empathy and most sympathy towards others, and my thoughts have been so aggressive and cold towards others it's freaking me out somewhat, as I never used to think like this. I've also been very irritable.

Is this something that could be a part of having BPD/BPD traits? Or should I take this to another forum? What can I do about it?

Thank you guys so much <3

i used to be a robot before some people. i still am. like mechanical. no emotions on face. i now avoid those situations. its a defense mechanism. my toxic caregiver was always angry n would taunt a lot. i would be silent before her and that made my default behavior before others

jaus tail wrote:i used to be a robot before some people. i still am. like mechanical. no emotions on face. i now avoid those situations. its a defense mechanism. my toxic caregiver was always angry n would taunt a lot. i would be silent before her and that made my default behavior before others

That would make a lot of sense why this would happen, and I'm sorry you had to go through this. I think this could definitely be why I feel this way, as a coping mechanism. Thank you for sharing this, it means a lot and does help. <3

yeah... now when i look back i realize how horribly toxic my caretaker was.

Sometimes people with BPD can feel sort of numb or like they're on auto-pilot.
It didn't happen to me that way, if anything the empathy grew, I was more sensitive with the symptoms, not less.

jaus tail wrote:yeah... now when i look back i realize how horribly toxic my caretaker was.

was your caretaker you mother? my pdoc said my mother is a malignant narcissist, very dangerous. My mother taunted and goaded me a lot, she liked to do it until I'd scream for her to stop, then she'd keep going.

The taunts were horrible. Though back then I didn't have courage to fight back. She was very toxic who always used shame n guilt to control us.