Anyone else really triggered by texting?

I feel like texting aggravates so many of my symptoms, particularly how I doubt myself so much and how I wonder if the person even really likes me at all. I hate trying to compose the 'perfect' message and I hate how I obsessively review my response before sending, all because I'm so self-conscious about seeming dumb, or, in other words, rejection-sensitive.

But the worst trigger has to be when somebody has been consistently texting me and then suddenly they don't reply in their usual time frame. And then I feel super anxious and spacey, and I keep questioning if I did something wrong or if they'll ever talk to me again. I'll convince myself that this is it, they're going to ghost me, time to completely emotionally detach and prepare myself to be let down. Obviously there's a chance they aren't replying for reasons totally unrelated to me, and my logical half sees that, but the BPD half refuses to believe it until I get a response.

This only typically happens if I've been texting someone a LOT, i.e., every single day multiple times a day. When this sort of thing happens, it makes me lose total faith in the person which is so ridiculous and frustrating if they do end up texting me at a later date and have a reason for not replying. I know it's wrong to wish for someone to constantly be available to text. This is a good reminder as to why I don't let myself get close to people.

Yes.

I dont really go over my resposes though or I wont send them. I just try to write them quickly and send them before I change my mind.

I hate texting. I also get very offended and feel abandoned by not getting a reply. I usually just call the other person after a text or two.

When I have to text someone and I am unsure if they will reply soon, I send it and then delete it right after. I go out of my way to distract afterwards too. It's THAT stressful for me.

Or if they take a long time to reply, I delete it. Deleting helps me not keep seeing it and being reminded of everything. I wish I had a better way to cope with this as I lose contact with people, but it's just too much work and trying to guess what's going on with them. And then when they do reply, I am annoyed with them already, lol.

Yes yes yes...I spend much too much time, like 15-20 minutes completely focused, trying to write the perfect text; it all makes me so anxious.

I respond to the experience differently though bc I hate getting a reply back, I dread what they have to say...maybe a one-word vicious manipulative response (Family history). Maybe I dread making plans I know I can't keep, or interest I know I don't have.

And then having to respond again and go through the entire emotional upheaval of sending ONE text? no thank you. One or two texts a day...maybe. I usually just throw my phone away and abandon everyone before they can abandon me. It's a vicious cycle bc I have ruined next to all my friendships because I don't respond or will reply once and not respond...or wait 2 months. I get very sad that I don't know what's going on with everyone, social media is a major trigger. I have strong mixed feelings about every relationship.

And I basically have no explanations anymore for them.

This is probably one of my worst features, but I'm making progress on it. I really am a very warm and receptive friend. But I'm not dependable or accessible

Absolutely go through this. The biggest trigger for me is when i'm texting someone and I don't get a response in a short matter of time. While logically I know sometimes people are just busy. But the BPD in me starts to wonder does this person not like me anymore. Then i'll go back and forth between a worried/sad state and an angry state. I can start to have angry thoughts about the person that I internalize on myself. Then when I do get a response that validation is reinforced and my mood goes back to normal state.

I have narcissistic and borderline traits, and I can relate to this. But the narcissism makes me want to lash out and if I know them well enough (good friend, family, etc.) I'll usually text them, "why aren't you replying?" and continue to pester them until I get a response or conclude they really have abandoned/rejected me.

I'll automatically assume everyone has lost interest in me and are abandoning me. It's a bad feeling and I often fly into a panic when it happens.

I sometimes also spend a lot of time composing texts, but sometimes I'll send what I know is a bad, self-sabotaging text, just because I hate myself.