Feeling utterly worthless...

I just really cannot drop this feeling. Everything seems hopeless. It feels like I have no one, and that I will be alone forever. Being stuck with my thoughts is purely unbearable. I just want to scream, and gauge my own eyes out.

I hate being like this, because I know the outside world finds me most unlovable in these states, but I can’t ######6 help it. Everything hurts so much, and I don’t know how else to stop the pain besides lashing out. I will do ANYTHING to quiet the rage, but then after I have released my anger I just feel empty. In fact I think the emptiness is worse. I’d rather be feeling 100 knives penetrating my body than be empty for a second.

I’m considering ending it all, but I am also against leaving this earth. I want to ######6 live. I want someone to love me and make it all better. Why does it have to be such a paradox.

Hi,

You must feel very frustrated. Hopelessness paired with anger make for an awful emotional mix.

As cheesy as it is to ask, do you have anything that you can do when you feel like this? A bicycle, a gym, a martial art? Physical exercise is a great help when you're feeling down on yourself. So is doing something creative. Art, music, photography, writing. What are you good at (and don't say nothing because there has to be something! )

I'm sure there are people in the world who care about you, more than you know. It may just feel like no one does when you're in this state of mind.