reason why i'm struggling with career

so my career shifts from engineering to writing to teaching to back to engineering n so on.

reason why i shift
engineering:
pros: i feel like i'm transforming world.
cons: less salary. dont like to work around machines.

writing:
pros: i like it
cons: less salary
eventually the entire media/movie industry is run by mafia n my colleagues would say stories of drugs n alls so i felt corrupt working there. like i'm contributing to mafia

teaching
pros: simple job
cons: its run by corporate houses n there's lot of corruption involved. i didnt like that as well.

any insight.

Start your own business or something, be your own boss. Sounds like you're not too keen on authority.

yes i hate authority and people who insist on discipline. i prefer freedom. i am not qualified enough to start my own business n have no contacts. i can run a magazine though.

Run a magazine then, what kinda magazine??

Literary magazine. yeah i'll can give it a more serious though.

Well m maybe you can start off with that and that can spiral into some other independent business pursuits.

the reason i left my earlier writing job was because i heard these stories of how corrupt n alcoholic n full of drug addicts the glamor world is. so i felt ashamed to be associated with it. any insight on this front. i know i shouldnt judge others but i had no friends there.

I feel like there's people doing drugs in any industry, you don't really have to be a part of it if you don't want to. It's not like YOU are contributing to other people's drug problems just because you work in writing. I honestly don't understand why you would even care (not trying to be rude). About the mafia...I don't really think the mafia is apart of the writing world, la cosa nostra is dying out and they mostly extort cash business fronts/drug dealers, invade construction unions, sports betting, and weird crimes like healthcare fraud.

RamadanSteve wrote:I honestly don't understand why you would even care (not trying to be rude).

its cause i have or had an obsession for moral superiority. its hypocrisy n i dont know how to get rid of it.

when i was working there i'd hear stories where colleagues would discuss how corrupt n unethical n immoral the whole movie industry is. they knew the inside details of what goes behind the movie sets n at the parties so they'd say how dirty the industry was.

i felt ashamed to be part of such industry n so i quit that work. part of me wants to work there but then its not as clean as the engineering world is.

jaus tail wrote:the reason i left my earlier writing job was because i heard these stories of how corrupt n alcoholic n full of drug addicts the glamor world is. so i felt ashamed to be associated with it. any insight on this front. i know i shouldnt judge others but i had no friends there.

Not sure what movie industry you're talking about?
Not saying there isn't truth to it. There are many who take pride in their art stretching into their lifestyle. And, yes, the easiest way to 'make friends' is probably by engaging in such behaviour yourself, but far from it being the only way.
Much of it is just gossip. And it's those who have failed that usually gossip and blow out of proportions.
Mafia or not, their only interest is in what you have to offer. Their lifestyle shouldn't be of importance, impress them and you get to keep yours.
(warning: all this is written from a persp. of a film student and the experience of her older colleagues, not yet burned by real life)
From what I've witnessed so far - it was necessary for me to adapt. To dirt, I mean. Adapt as in grow resilience I never before had. Will find it wherever you go though, easier to survive if you're doing something you believe in.

What about combining writing and teaching btw? One project-based, the other one steady.