Please can someone advise me

Hi, I have been reading up a lot on BPD to try and understand it a bit more. I am a 51 year old woman who did have a 26 year old gay friend.I will call my gay friend X I only knew him for 2 months and he lived 2 mins away from mebut in that time he, cried, sobbed and was very distressed about personal issues, he told me he suffered with anxiety and depression. We also had some very happy times and have some amazing memories, I let him into my heart and to this day i am convinced he let me into his heart, he was always telling me he loved me and that he trusted me with his life. It was like a mother son relationship we were very close, we even shared the same bed when we went on holiday for a few days. After our 2 month friendship I became very ill and was in a coma for 1 monthand given 10% chance of survival. I survived. Whilst I was in a coma X rang my daughter around 4 to 5 times a day asking for an update and asking how i was doing. Every day for 1 month he rang my daughter who was at my bedside. Once i came out of the coma and was with it more I rang X and he ignored me, I became very anxious and upset as i needed to hear his voice. I rang X 23 times that day he never did answer me. He messaged me asking me to leave him alone then i thought why whats wrong. 2 months later i came out of hospital and as he had told me he suffered with depression i was worried about X and sent text messages to which he never responded. I thought i had upset him or something was wrong so i then wrote to him saying im here for you im your friend etc etc and please dont throw our friendship away. I loved him and still do. I have now had a message and he blames me for contacting him. He says if i contact him again he will report me. I will not contact him again but he has put all over facebook about me contacting him and asking people for advice on what to do about me contacting him. he is making out im obsessed with him but im not im worried about him. I am convinced he is borderline as he displays all the traits. I told my pschycologist about X and what had happened and he agreed it sounds like he is borderline. My question is did he ver like me and if he trusted me then why has it come to this? Thank you for your time and please reply if you are able. x

if x blames you for issues in his life, then i suggest avoid him. there was a time when a friend tried to contact me n i was blaming him for my nervous breakdown, still blame at times

but with bpd its all black n white n the feelings are very intense. if you can look at his posts on facebook then maybe ask some common friend if he's fine, but i suggest ignore him. he doesnt want your help, so maybe let him solve his issues on his own.

u tried contacting him often. n he didnt reply.

maybe let go of the dream that one day you both will talk, and u'll realize that u've been fighting over a silly reason. that only happens in movies.

if he has other friends on facebook then maybe he'll contact them if he needs help. but i think you should let him go. for both yourself n for him.

Hi Thanks for your replies and advise. I am looking at his facebook but he seems really down and does not have any friends, he seems so sad at the moment. I have broken the no contact rule and he says i am obsessive and if i contact him again he will report me, what is this about and why?

-- Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:52 pm --

Hi Thanks for your replies and advise. I am looking at his facebook but he seems really down and does not have any friends, he seems so sad at the moment. I have broken the no contact rule and he says i am obsessive and if i contact him again he will report me, what is this about and why?

if he is threatening to report you, then i strongly suggest avoid him at least for now. i hope this doesnt upset you but dont try to be a superhero because right now you're on the verge of stalking him.

give him some space. it could be he is in danger but you tried contacting him n he doesnt need your help. he's made that clear many times.

my one friend did this to me. i kept on calling me n he didnt return my calls or answer them. i didnt understand why he was so upset with me. still dont know.

maybe after a week or two you can write a goodbye letter to him where you wish him well. but for now maybe stay away and give him space.

We did not have a row, any cross words or any argument, he did have a boy friend at this time so maybe did not need me as much as he did before I was ill. We last spoke 8 months ago, he has now shut himself away getting drunk on his own etc. I hope he is ok

i understand your concern. its good that you feel concerned for your friend. but he has made it clear he'd report you if you try to communicate with him.
if he reports you then it'll go in your record and that will hamper your career.

would it be possible to ask his neighbors if he's doing all right.

think of a time when you wanted to be alone. and how would you feel if someone forces you to hang out.

its equivalent to the stomach being full and someone is forcing you to eat.