BPD or HPD/NPD?

Hi,

I'll start with saying I might suffer from BPD my self, so my judgment and my thinking is very black and white, and I can often be paranoid and look too much into things. Also I am a very submissive person.

Ok there are too many things to say but I'll go slowly and without saying what I think to see a genuine response. All of this is about my oldest friend, I am having doubts about. She was diagnosed with BPD but I am starting to see a lot of narcissistic traits I am scared of.

So here's some situations I might interpret just very badly:

1st situation:
My body type is petite, big butt but small breast. Her body type is skinny with big breast/butt. Both of us are attractive girls. She definitely has a body type that is more appealing to guys though.
She was raging when a guy called her 'cute' because for her is not a compliment. She wants to be called hot, beautiful etc, for some reason she thinks 'cute' it's ridiculous.

She would then complain a few months later about how too many guys look at her as a sex object, that when they look at her she can tell they wanna ###$ her, and that instead when they look at me they approach me in a more sensibile and delicate way, because of my body type. Because I am 'cute' ( she used the word to describe me ).

I pointed out how she was being incoherent and she said that for my body type 'cute' is an ok compliment, for hers no.
I have to add she genuinely thinks everybody wants to ###$ her and that there's no way someone would ever refuse sex with her ( which could be possibly true, but I think it's still a bit funny she says it out loud ).

So, how do you see this?

Just an insecure person that doesn't even know what she wants and overcompensate insecurities by making extreme statements about herself, or someone who is just trying to point out our differences and how she's so much of a sex machine while I am just 'cute'?

I am being paranoid probably but I thought it is odd how she says she's hot - NOT cute, then she complains about being TOO hot ( in her head guys see her like an object ), then brags about how hot she is? All of this keeping in mind I am what a guy would define 'cute'. That's literally what guys tell me all the time.

For other examples I'll write them in the comments.

2nd situation.

That's a stupid one but it left me surprised.

We walked into a restaurant, I speak to the cashier first as she goes sitting. I tell her I fancy the cashier ( never met before, I just thought he was attractive ). He eventually comes talking to the table, she starts being a bit flirty ( not too much, but you could tell she fancied him ). He was being flirty too with both of us. Mostly with her because she was being over confident, and I was feeling off because she was flirting with a guy I just said I fancied. We invited him to come visit us the same night to the place we work ( in a bar ).
When he leaves us, she said 'ok If it doesn't go well, I'll leave him to you'.

She said that sentence without thinking twice, which scares me even more. That sentence was spontaneous and genuine. In my head felt like she didn't acknowledge for a second that I 'looked' at him first. Second she didn't think at all that maybe he could fancy me and not her? Kinda like OBVIOUSLY she has the priority.

What in this case?

Insecure person that tries to take over and gets the attention because too scared of competition, or just a vain person with a huge ego?


There's to say she always compliment me and my body, and she thinks that I can ###$ anyone too, so it's not like she's always making me feel ugly. However I feel like in some occasions she thinks of her self so highly to the point she forgets she gets offensive.

3rd situation.

That's a more general one.

She's not 'sexy' at all. Like she's good looking etc, but she does not wear eccentric clothes ( I do a lot for example ), and she acts dumb all the time. However with her funny way of doing, she manages to make guys think that one day she's gonna have sex with them. She pretty much likes having any guy attention.

4th situation
When people question her behaviour, she gets very aggressive and offensive. If for example I tell her she's doing something I don't like, she gets super aggressive, makes me feel like a bad friend ( even though I am trying to give advice and apologise for offending her like million times ) and start talking about how I am bad at something just to move the attention on me rather than her problem.

Like once I told her off in work, I didn't mean bad but she was pissing me off a bit, also she was doing something wrong. We've been friends for years so I assume it's ok right? She went off saying how dare I tell her off and doubt her hard work, that I was very rude etc. That by telling her off I just showed how little I know her, I apologised and said "sorry for the way I delivered the message, I didn't mean to be rude, but I was telling you off for your own sake so you avoid trouble with the boss."
She didn't register any of my apology, just kept attacking me, making me feel a bad friend, and how I've done something wrong in the past.

What do you think?

sorry for all these postss

moonghi wrote:What do you think?

None of what you describe screams PD to me, but...this is pulled from another thread, if it's of any interest.

Between histrionic and borderline?

Unstable self image is more common with BPD. I think extreme feelings of anger are more common too. Borderlines often self harm. As I understand it, histrionics are considered more in control and goal directed in their emotions/manipulativeness while borderlines are more out of control/self destructive, like a child throwing a fit. In other words, histrionics manipulate with greater success. I think histrionics have a slightly greater need for attention for attention's own sake. They are considered flirtier.