Do you see BPD traits in non diagnosed people?

Lately my therapist has me really examining the how's, what's, and whys I feel and react about to things. Since I've started, I've been obsessed with over analyzing everything I do, and I've been trying to find reason for it.

Now I'm starting to feel like I see BPD traits in all of the closet people in life. I asked my sister and boyfriend if they thought they had characteristics and I think I've confused them as to whether they actually do or if I'm imagining things.

I do tend to try to over reason negative things from others and give them a legitimate cause for said negativity. At the same time I just wonder if I'm the crazy one for thinking I actually do have a problem if I see the same characteristics in everyone.

Sorry for the ramble. It's hard to sort out what's going on in my head.

I guess people could have some traits but 1st we cannot make a proper diagnosis and 2nd they have to have at least 5 or 6 diagnostic criteria in order to get diagnosed. My bestie has abandonment issues and used to cut herself. I am telling her she might have borderline but she doesn't want to accept it and her therapists (she has changed a few) are, for me, good for nothings. She suffers from chronic depression and no medication seems to work out. I guess she has a PD because chronic depression is somehow weird. Medication works almost always. She need proper therapy but the healthcare system in Germany, where she lives, is crap and first she is almost always on a waiting list and second she can't afford therapy once a week (you have to pay extra if your insurance pays only for twice a month).

I can certainly get hung up on labels and things like that so I understand. Although I think mine is partly OCD as I can obsess over what exactly constitutes OCD or BPD and start examining all my symptoms in minute detail and need to know exactly what causes which symptom.

I guess all mental illnesses are slightly confusing in a way. Like someone can have 4 traits of BPD badly and not meet the criteria but someone else can have 5 of them else seriously and get the diagnosis. With OCD they say it’s OCD if you’re obsessing and compulsing for at least an hour a day. What if it’s 59 minutes?!

I’m worrying about my diagnosis lately and thinking ‘ok so I want attention all the time but other people without BPD are sometimes like that’. Maybe it’s just me, not BPD? Sounds like you’re doing something similar?

what traits do you see?

kah80 wrote:I can certainly get hung up on labels and things like that so I understand. Although I think mine is partly OCD as I can obsess over what exactly constitutes OCD or BPD and start examining all my symptoms in minute detail and need to know exactly what causes which symptom.

I guess all mental illnesses are slightly confusing in a way. Like someone can have 4 traits of BPD badly and not meet the criteria but someone else can have 5 of them else seriously and get the diagnosis. With OCD they say it’s OCD if you’re obsessing and compulsing for at least an hour a day. What if it’s 59 minutes?!

I’m worrying about my diagnosis lately and thinking ‘ok so I want attention all the time but other people without BPD are sometimes like that’. Maybe it’s just me, not BPD? Sounds like you’re doing something similar?

Between us, I tend to be an attention seeker too

I think the traits that we see in BPD are very common amongst most of the population. The difference being the frequency and intensity of them. As a so called non I have I have probably at one time or another touched on a lot of the BPD traits.

julllia wrote:what traits do you see?

I see a lot of lack of identity in my sister. She's almost more lost than I am and she's had a history of self harm. Almost everyone in my family seem to have ridiculous impulses. My dad, sister, mom and grandma all have obvious emotional issues.(anger outburst, depression, anxiety ect.) My grandma, my sister, and I all have had eating disorders. No one in my family has had a stable relationship excluding my mom and grandma. (only because their significant others are extremely patient men.)

I don't know. I almost want them to have a "label" to explain why they are the way they are and I would like to think they go through what I have to.