My therapist said people with BPD have no empathy?

So I started seeing this new therapist and when I told her about my borderline diagnosis she immediately doubted it, because I have empathy and according to her borderlines have 0 empathy. I feel as though her assessment is very misguided and damaging to people with BPD, especially when she told me she doesn’t even think the diagnosis is accurate for me. I’m not here to get confirmation of my diagnosis ( I’m still pretty sure I have BPD regardless of what she said). I also want to point out that she has been bringing up verses from the Bible in our sessions which I believe is extremely unethical. And then she insinuates that my mother must have been sexually abused because she dated a lot of different people. I don’t know, maybe i’m just over reacting but a lot of the things she’s said make me not like her, I even cancelled our appointment that we had two days prior to today, because I dreaded seeing her.

There's no reason to keep seeing a therapist you dont like. Unless you have told her you are Christian its a little weird that she quotes bible verses. And even if you did say you're Christian, most therapists don't use the bible as a guide for therapy unless that's what you want.
People with BPD do have empathy. I have a lot of empathy, a bit too much sometimes even and I do have BPD. I dont know where she got that idea. Sorry you are dealing with this.

According to what I've read and definately according to what I've experienced as a person with BPD, people with BPD are extremely sensitive to the moods of others, sometimes to their detriment. Empathy is NOT lacking in BPD. This is absolutely untrue. And you are right, unless she advertises herself as a Christian or Judaic therapist, she should not be quoting Bible verses. I would be out of there so fast....!

That's really bizarre. I would fire her.

Unfortunately not every therapist learnt about BPD. Maybe they had a few lessons but this disorder is so complex that it can shows up in many ways.
BPD do have empathy. As far I'm concerned, I lack of empathy sometimes because I used to care too much and it was too painful. Now I'm kinda egocentric, except with the ones who trully matters to me.
Advice : you should see somebody else.
(The verses of the bible would have been enough to make me run away)

I would stop seeing her. Clearly she only turns to stereotypes for BPD, as I have been diagnosed with the disorder, not only on account of meeting all the criteria, but also on account of my extreme hyper-empathy. Some people with BPD do not have much empathy, but most of us have severe empathy. Your therapist is wrong that all borderlines are apathetic 100% of the time. That is a stereotype, and it is not true.

If my therapist started reading the bible i would be furious.

I have met "spiritual people" who wanted to make me believe my problems are spiritual in nature.

a) i have to trust in god/the force of the universe/the saints/whatever. Ususally they then tell that these powers want me to buy the magic crystals.
b) told me my problems are there because my spirit somehow "decided" to have these problems before i was born. Like i have chosen which parents i have or that i have chosen what would happen in my life. Kind of like Karma, but worse.
c) tried to "sanctify" me with holy symbols. Without warning. Just coming to me and putting crosses on me - stuff like that. I was so shocked i didn't even do something. Probably i should have started to scream and fake epillepsy. Would have been a good show.
d) told me i have to be on guard for people trying to suck my spiritual power. Because obviously black magic witches are everywhere.

Also i agree that empathy can be very high or very low with BDP.

ColouredLeaves wrote:According to what I've read and definately according to what I've experienced as a person with BPD, people with BPD are extremely sensitive to the moods of others, sometimes to their detriment. Empathy is NOT lacking in BPD. This is absolutely untrue. And you are right, unless she advertises herself as a Christian or Judaic therapist, she should not be quoting Bible verses. I would be out of there so fast....!

Exactly that. BPDs do have a lot of empathy (as opposed to NPDs) and are extremely sensitive. No offense to your therapist, change before it gets too late

Problem with borderlines is that we sometimes get too self-absorbed and it seems like we don't care about other people. This is just what it seems like.

patientxgreece wrote:

ColouredLeaves wrote:According to what I've read and definately according to what I've experienced as a person with BPD, people with BPD are extremely sensitive to the moods of others, sometimes to their detriment. Empathy is NOT lacking in BPD. This is absolutely untrue. And you are right, unless she advertises herself as a Christian or Judaic therapist, she should not be quoting Bible verses. I would be out of there so fast....!

Exactly that. BPDs do have a lot of empathy (as opposed to NPDs) and are extremely sensitive. No offense to your therapist, change before it gets too late

Problem with borderlines is that we sometimes get too self-absorbed and it seems like we don't care about other people. This is just what it seems like.

Just in case, this is what DSM says about empathy and NPD - I didn't mean to offend anyone

Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the
feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

Hyde wrote:I would stop seeing her. Clearly she only turns to stereotypes for BPD, as I have been diagnosed with the disorder, not only on account of meeting all the criteria, but also on account of my extreme hyper-empathy. Some people with BPD do not have much empathy, but most of us have severe empathy. Your therapist is wrong that all borderlines are apathetic 100% of the time. That is a stereotype, and it is not true.

I can relate and you are right. I don't know if it is lack or empathy or just being so self-absorbed with our own pain that we just block out. Let me explain this.

I had a discussion with my mentor. He had BIG fights with his girlfriend, he was on the verge of breaking up. After our session, I got sadder and sadder about it just because I knew he was very sad. I got so sad that I couldn't sleep until next morning that he wrote me that everything was back to normal.

However, when I was first diagnosed and my borderline was actually way too overwhelming, I had a slight suspicion that the girl I thought I was in love with was going to abandon me. I called my therapist who tried to put some sense in my head and he just told me ''I am really tired, I have the flu you know, please listen to me" and I was so self-absorbed that I almost told him that I didn't care. Does this make me apathetic? I guess not. It is just that sometimes our pain is so overwhelming that we cannot control it and seem really apathetic to other people's problem. I almost lost a friend because of this borderline-pain-apathy.