Severe Paranoia?

I was wondering if any BPD folks suffer from extreme paranoia. Whenever I get into relationships, I think the person is always trying to manipulate me into marriage or use me, and then will abandon me (I tend to date people in their late 20s and early 30s so it makes sense they want marriage - I know).

Does anybody suffer from this? Or get extreme anxiety after having a BPD episode and going out into public? To the point where you think everybody is watching you or out to get you? Thank you.

I also get paranoid about people's motives, that's the main issue in me trying to keep a stable relationship with anyone. I start thinking they are talking about me behind my back or are tricking me and I get angry & push them away.

Brumble wrote:I also get paranoid about people's motives, that's the main issue in me trying to keep a stable relationship with anyone. I start thinking they are talking about me behind my back or are tricking me and I get angry & push them away.

Oy. I guess this is why they put the bullet point that we have very intense and short interpersonal relationships... but boy are they INTENSE!

I am so paranoid that i don't get into relationships in the first place.
So i guess i would be classified as paranoid.

I was really paranoid of my bf using me, so I tested him non stop. The most recent occasion, I made friends with a girl, we both speak Spanish but I’m not as fluent as her, whenever she spoke a lot of slang that I didn’t understand in front of me, I was certain she was making fun of me, then I became certain she was trying to steal my boyfriend, and I blew up at her for something else, a really small situation.

Sometimes completely outside situations will cause me to get really paranoid about my relationship with my bf, and I began to question his motives and character. His friend did something that I didn’t like, and this caused me to question our entire relationship and I considered leaving him for it. I always give myself time to rationalize in those scenarios and don’t act on them.

But wanting to marry you and leave you are opposite. Do they want to marry you and then leave after ?
I am paranoid. Not that they talk behind my back etc but that i can't risk to be attached to them and i should leave because i will get hurt ,they wil hurt me.
I can't explain the paranoia is not that simple .
I have also lack of object permanence. In feelings.If i don't see it clearly i don't believe it exists.
To me it doesn't feel like paranoia. It feels very rational.
So these questions in tests are ###$ up because i would answer not at all. I am not paranoid ,my judgement was correct

I suffer from frequent bouts of paranoia and it permeates a variety of areas of my life. In relationships I get extremely paranoid and usually come to believe that my partner is cheating on me or lying to me. So much so that in the past with my ex-bf I created false profiles online in order to entrap him.... crazy I know.

I also get paranoid at work believing that my boss is out to get me, I need to really talk myself down from some of my wild hypotheses. Circumstantial evidence is the worse for me with this.... as I can talk a few seemingly unrelated things and make a connection and whole false story.

I have started challenging my thinking and thought processes. I have also started deciphering where I may be paranoid vs a healthy recognition of a realistic scenario. For example I am on disability at the moment and believe that the insurance company is checking up on me online, following me etc.... However this is not unfounded as my company did this to me and informed on me (albeit everything they found was incorrect... perhaps they are paranoid too). So I need to give myself the recognition that I may not be always delusional.

I have found the best way to deal with this is to talk about it, challenge my thinking and in the end accept that it is a part of who I am, and work with it as best I can.