Struggling to make a decision about a relationship

I was recently diagnosed with BPD, and my boyfriend and I hadn't been together long at that time. We were having some issues, which we were glad to find out were symptoms of BPD, and that I can learn to deal with things better, which gave us some hope. The big thing that seems to be causing issues is that if his depression is bad, he just falls off the face of the Earth, and when he does this, I of course panic. He also is someone who likes to have personal time, which I respect. I have been making a conscious effort to give him his space when he needs it (including no calls or texts), give him days away from me a few times a week at least, and not bombard him with calls and texts when I panic because he didn't call/text at the time he expected (usually because he got off work late). I feel like these efforts have gone unnoticed, and that although I'm trying my best (still waiting to start DBT, so I really only have the internet to try to learn coping skills from), he just gets frustrated or angry with me. I've been experiencing some debilitating symptoms lately from the disorder that I haven't experienced before, and he hasn't really been around much while it started (was on a trip), so I haven't had an opportunity to let him know whats going on. I haven't been myself over the last month or so, and he really needs to know why. When I tried to ask if we could discuss whats going on with me, he got really angry about it, and we haven't spoken in a few days.

Basically, I have no clue what he wants at this point because I've been struggling to see how situations are really unfolding, and misunderstanding too much if I don't get clarification, all because of the recent issues I've been having. I feel like we may not be able to make our relationship work because he doesn't seem to be dealing with the traits of BPD well, even though they aren't necessarily permanent. He hasn't really taken the time to educate himself on it, but where we've had so little discussion about it, I'm not sure if he knows the importance in it. I'm also scared that I may just be pushing him away and trying to end things to avoid losing him. I know that I still want to be with him, but everything seems so complicated!

HELP

Cutting off contact from you for several days isn't right. I'm very familiar with depression, and I'm sure you are too, and you can't just blame the depression for this. It's pretty selfish, if you ask me, especially since you get so much anxiety when you're not in contact. I know what that's like, because I'm currently in that situation (she told me she needs space, and I'm not allowed to contact her for a month). It's one thing to do that very occasionally, but if it's on a regular basis whenever he's feeling depressed, that's not fair, and you both should talk to a counselor about it and come to a compromise. A relationship isn't just about doing whatever you feel like, it's about doing things for the other person even if you don't always feel like it. It sounds like you're willing to do a lot for him, but he's not willing to do a lot for you.
That's just my opinion. Either way, I think it would definitely be worth talking to a counselor together about it.