The I-don't-know-what Disorder

I can't afford therapy. Well I could afford it I guess but then I wouldn't have enough money to buy things that make me comfortable. I have a comfortability issue that leads me to overspend my money. I don't even need luxuries, it's more like space savers in my home and like a new little refrigerator because the one we have has a temperature issue and keeps freezing everything, and that automatic cat litter box that costs 80$. I WANT to buy those things but can't because my truck is all messed up.
I'm really jealous and suspicious of my boyfriend and can't handle when something normal happens like if he see's another woman who he finds attractive and interesting. He doesn't act on it but one time he told me about it because he wanted to be honest with me since he loved me. He never pushed it with that person he sort of just got over it after telling me but I CANNOT GET OVER IT. Everytime I know she is going to be around him, since we all work together, I get all freaked out and later on say things to him like "So how was your day with Ashely" etc. I know it's normal for me to feel this way but WHY can't I get over things.
I have a horrible memory. People get really annoyed with me because I seem to be an airhead. Well what's the cure for airheadedness then?
I feel like I have a million things I could say to explain myself, and say them so many different ways so people can understand me. It's like I don't think they get me so I have to over-explain. It's freaking rediculous. I waste time when I do this.
I also have trouble demonstrating things through words. I volunteer and at the moment am a part of a program that teaches children about Safety for Summer Activities and I sound like such an idiot because I forget words while I talk. It makes me very frustrated and sad. I don't know if it's because I didn't finish High School or if there REALLY IS something wrong.
I am assuming it's a either BPD or MPD or whatever. I don't know I'm lost and need help and noone I know can help me. So I am reaching out to all of you who might be able to recognize what my problem is.
Thank you, and God Bless You.
Another note. I am also a victimn of my boyfriend who has a severe anger problem and blows up. He's not an alcoholic but he does smoke pot occasionaly,but anyway, his mother abandoned he and his sister when they were wee kids and I know he has some deep rooted issue with that but he throws me around the room, pushes me down to the ground, sexually molests me as if HE OWNS ME and HE CONTROLS me all in one episode. It is Abuse, this I know, but isn't there something more to it that causes this behavior? Do I have to leave him?

So I just read what I wrote and I have to point out that I am 26 years old and, to me, what I just read sounded like some naive teenager. HELP

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were you ever tested for ADHD, because the whole airhead thing and not being able to explain well seems like good examples of what ADHDers do? the whole not getting over stuff can be a number of things... but it would be probably most important to figure out if there's something neurological like AD(H)D that's causing your memory problems. and no, you don't sound like a naive teenager