Can't seem to handle saying goodbye

I've been having this issue recently where I have had the hardest time leaving my new boyfriend's place and thought I'd ask the boards if they'd felt anything similar. Maybe 4 months or so ago, I got out of a really awful relationship of 2 years and I've been dating this new guy for about a month. I'm completely head over heels and we've been spending a lot of time together.

The problem is that the past few times I've spent at his house, I've thrown a tantrum when it was time for me to leave. He hasn't asked me to leave abruptly or after we've had sex or anything that might justify a negative response and it's been after we've been hanging out together for 24-36 hours and it really is time for me to leave. Something about leaving triggers this completely negative response in me and it's taken hours of coaxing for me to eventually leave. The man has the patience of a saint and I'm so glad he's willing to work through it with me and not just call the cops or something, but it really needs to stop. I feel completely childish and needy when it's happened and I'm always painfully aware of how horribly I'm acting, but something about leaving makes me feel this sort of deep, painful emptiness that makes me want to die. It's intolerable. I've had a little of this happen previously with my ex when he tried to kick me out rather suddenly but I've never had this issue to this extent before.

I figure I'll find a way to apply some DBT techniques to the situation after I talk to my therapist, but I wanted to see if anyone had any advice or ever felt similarly.

Hey,

Maybe there's some internal conflict left to be resolved from your previous relationship. Getting kicked out is hard to to respond to, it may have scarred you psychologically through the trauma or shock. I think its evident in that you're triggered into a similar response after a similar (but not as extreme) cause.

Along with your DBT techniques, the best way to go about solving this, I'd say, is meditation. I think that just as we ourselves buried these horrible things into the depths of our minds, then we ourselves could dig them back out. This takes a while, but I think that it's not because it's too long of a method to reach the desired outcome, but because you gain so much more than that outcome by doing it, including peace and clarity in your daily life.

Now I know that this issue is serious, but what else is serious is this great relationship that you've created. I think that you should consider leaving quickly when needed to, and more often than not. Because it's really just a matter of time before he gets uncomfortable about it. It's not a wickedly evil response of him either, people are accustomed to having the privilege of their own space and privacy. I'm not sure if you should settle with the possibility that he might be willing to deal with this as burdened that you need help dealing with, and not see it ignorantly/selfishly as in thinking its just you being needy and not respecting his need for privacy, which I know is not the case, but even optimistic people could come to logical conclusions that are somewhat negative.

Good luck,

Somethingelse