Which BPD traits do you not have?

When in a relationship I have all of them.

Outside of a relationship I don't really split as far as I can remember.
I don't remember ever cutting myself up when single (and "healed" from the past relationship).
My moods aren't as intense. Generally I'm rather happy 90% of the time.
I don't have any anger issues.
I also don't disassociate.

I actually feel like a pretty normal person when I'm not in a relationship. It's kind of sad, because all I want is a relationship with someone who adores me. I always mess it up though, because all those symptoms come to light after a few weeks.

Strangely enough I seem to be one of the few ones who never had problems with self harm, i.e. I never cut myself. Well except suicidal ideation and past attempts.
While I do have some excessive behaviour it sure doesn't fit the general problems always listed either, i.e. no problem with drinking or drugs or spending money. Though I think I would be a reckless driver. Good thing that I don't have a license or a car.

But I can understand the reasons for both of these traits and I feel like I could easily get into becoming an alcoholic or drug addict. It's just that I have no desire to.

iate wrote:

Munchhh wrote:I have a very serious azz false self who I portray to the world who I can never match up to. Sometimes I do act like her all grandiose and entitled but in reality I know I'm not her and I can never be.

The awkward moment when you realize, that you also have imagined better false self, but you insist to think that you're indeed like that

The awkward moment when you thought it was normal and just like having a role model in your head to aspire to, and your therapist immediately recommends personality disorder testing for you

I don't own a cat.

graveflower wrote:I don't own a cat.

You monster

graveflower wrote:I don't own a cat.

LOL!!! Me neither, but only because I'm allergic.

I am a textbook high functioning Borderline. I have absolutely every symptom. But like someone else mentioned it's worse in a relationship; but ironically I just do not want to be single. If I am single, I might accidentally ###$ everyone within a 10 mile radius.

I've graduated college no problem, been consistently employed no problem. But my closest friends are only in my life because they are the most open minded and forgiving people.

I have had alot of traits. I've done alot of DBT and now I don't have certain traits anymore but I have different ones to replace them (anxiety, antisocial)

Okie so my traits today

Rarely (kinda feed off eachother)
Emptiness-BOREDOM-no point in life attitude
Impulsive behaviors (drugs/alcohol/suddenly leaving town and moving away/driving fast/blowing money/etc...)
Suicidal thoughts and self harming

Consistently
Depression (sometimes it's a bit seasonal but I've had times where the seasonal depression was so bad it spun me off into the top three and from there the fun little circle kept going until a huge dramatic episode exploded like ending up in a pych ward or something from trying to stab someone while messed up on something..(alcohol/anything)
Low self esteem / eating disorder tendencies
ANXIETY (newest development and it's the worst IMO)
Social anxiety/aversion
Fear of abandonment (ughhhhh always)
Explosive anger (I'm a nice person but when I'm angry I turn into like another person.)
INSOMNIA (second worse IMO)

Hmmm I think that might be it but I donno I'm sure there are more

Does anyone else think that an unstable sense of self is an accurate trait? I have two uBPD exs and they both had a core self that I would say was constant. Where it seemed unstable was that they where easily influenced by others. Would others agree this was more accurate for them?

DT1095 wrote:Does anyone else think that an unstable sense of self is an accurate trait? I have two uBPD exs and they both had a core self that I would say was constant. Where it seemed unstable was that they where easily influenced by others. Would others agree this was more accurate for them?

Hard to state. A few people here claim that they do not have this specific symptom. From my perspective it's quite different to say, because I am influenced by others (so I can be one person that around certain other, and be completely different around another), yet I usually perceive all of these "persons" as me. Until I start to depersonalize, but that's rare.

I'll give an example of what I mean and see if it makes sense. My ex wife hated football. Her new husband loves it so she became a football fan. Now she has snapped back to hating it.

She was influenced by his like of football but deep down it wasn't her so she reverted back.

We can all change around others and to some degree I see this as normal. Its like not wanting to fart in front of someone you've only just started dating. After a while when your comfortable with each other the odd one slips out without too much embarrassment.