Did I dissociate? (TW) Does that happen with BPD?

A few weeks ago I met this guy on a dating app. The first date went well, then the second date we went to his house. It wasn't until the next day when I was at his house again, and he casually brought up the fact that we had sex twice that I realized that I don't remember anything past making out on his couch from the night before. I don't remember the sex, whether a condom was used, how I got home. I do remember walking in the door to my home though, and I wasn't emotionally shaken up. I felt fine. My theory is that I was just really uncomfortable about having sex with him (he's a very pushy guy) so I just dissociated.

Does that sound right? Is it normal for people with BPD?

P.S. don't worry I've gotten tested since.

Were you planning to have sex with him that night? I do experience some dissociation when under a great amount of stress, but I think I would remember something like sleeping with somebody. So I'm wondering if he secretly gave you some kind of pill. Either way, be careful - even if it's 'just' dissociation, it means that you're not really prepared for this relationship.

I'm thinking the same as jeboa. I'd definitely remember whether I'd had sex with someone. Were you drinking, loneyhear?

I agree with Jerboa in regards to being cautious, as she said this could have been cohered with something, but without evidence we cant say really

I know for myself i never forget a sexual encounter, but that doesnt mean that you didn't dissociate.its a tough one to answer really, sorry this cant have helped but hopefully you'll get more replies

CloudShark wrote:I'm thinking the same as jeboa. I'd definitely remember whether I'd had sex with someone. Were you drinking, loneyhear?

I'm fairly certain I wasn't drinking alcohol, but my memory is obviously fuzzy for that night so I can't say for sure.

-- Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:19 am --

jerboa wrote:Were you planning to have sex with him that night? I do experience some dissociation when under a great amount of stress, but I think I would remember something like sleeping with somebody. So I'm wondering if he secretly gave you some kind of pill. Either way, be careful - even if it's 'just' dissociation, it means that you're not really prepared for this relationship.

I also worried that he may have given me some sort of drug, but that doesn't make much sense considering I remember being home and feeling fine a few hours later. Then again, I'm not well versed in memory suppressing drugs.

To be honest, Jerboa is right (assuming there was no mentally irrelevant cause for this). He's sounds like you aren't exactly comfortable with him. And even if you weren't BPD that is a must, so when you have BPD, well i'm not really sure what i'm trying to say but I think you get my meaning. Be with a guy that makes you feel safe and at least attempts to halt his manly ways.

No, that is not not normal for people with BPD.

You lost time and you "came to" returning home. [mod edit]

I used to lose time with pushy men and, like you, I wrote it off as I just wasn't comfortable. Then in middle age I found out I have DID and here is the hard part: all those times I lost time a terrified, traumatized small child was taking my place. That lost part of me lived a nightmare, just one sordid scene after another with nothing in between. I am so sorry I let that happen. I had no idea such a thing was even possible.

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Any and all advice provided on this forum is intended as general information for the membership and/or any visitors to this site and should never be construed as a substitute for or a contradiction of medical advice from your own physicians, who are in a position to know your full medical history. It should be emphasized that we do not provide online diagnoses at Psychforums and we do not permit members to diagnose other members. Only a qualified physician or mental health professional (1) with the legal authority to diagnose and (2) who is in a position to evaluate your history and current symptoms can provide you with a diagnosis.

Thank you guys

I apologize for the portion of my previous post that has been deleted by a moderator. Please allow me to try again.

Nothing anyone says here constitutes a diagnosis.

I have a diagnosis of DID, evaluated using state-of-the-art diagnostic instruments and confirmed by several specialists. I do not have a diagnosis of BPD; that has not even entered the differential, meaning the list of other diagnoses to be ruled out in my case. But many posters on the DID Forum here who have a diagnosis of DID have been diagnosed with BPD, some correctly some not. This is what they self report. I read in the primary medical literature that many persons diagnosed with DID are initially misdiagnosed with BPD and also that DID and BPD can co-occur.

When anyone loses time or "blacks out" and comes to in the middle of doing something, and there is no medical cause nor substance use involved, that is called a fugue state. That is not diagnosis, merely vocabulary. Fugue states are a common symptom of DID.

When I lost time I was extremely vulnerable. I got treatment for DID and I no longer lose time in situations that in the past would usually cause me to lose time. I am so thankful for my diagnosis and treatment.

Thank you Una+ for explaining your other comment

And on that note:
As loneyhear stated she cant be sure if she was/wasnt given anything so the best thing she can do is speak with her GP/Healthcare about this and take steps to find out what actually happened.

I am glad your happy with your own dx Una+ and ofc it will be a relief to you knowing why it happened.

loneyhear would also benefit from seeing her GP/Healthcare specialist, this should be her number 1 priority, im sure you dont disagree ?

That is merely what i meant